Folding, spindeling, and mutilating lauguage for fun since Aug, 2004
Saturday, 21 November 2009
Rocky and I had been to see a play, part of our little tradition of subscribing to the Guthrie Theater every year. This performance had managed to sneak up on me. I had it on the wrong night in my calender, and everything had turned into a sort of train-wreck that day.

Rocky drove from the airport, directly from the play. I drove there from another location. We met, attended the play, and enountered a creepy older couple who desperatly wanted me to eat one of their throat lozenges. (see Play, Pie, and Crazy, Part 1)

Rocky and I decided to go to Perkins for pie and coffee. I normally would never eat pie, and certainly not that late at night, but decided to make an exception. We were going to meet at the Perkins on the way home.

But first, I had to stop for gas. I decided to go to a familiar gas station, first, rather than risk running out of gas on the freeway.

So I got through all the button-punching preliminaries, set the nozzle in my gas tank, and began the long wait. I did what I often do. I put one leg up on the concrete plinth that the gas pump sits on and proceeded to stretch out my hamstring muscles. I was already stretched from earlier that day, so I was able to nearly touch my nose to my knee.

Then, I switched legs, and as I did so, the car on the other side of the island rolled forward. There were a couple of skin-head-looking types glaring at me from the car. The window nearest me was rolled down slightly.

The guy in the passenger side glared at me and said "Bitch". They drove off.

Weird. Shrug.

Rocky got to the Prekins ahead of me, and was sitting at the table playing with his new laptop. It is a very special laptop from a very special source. Not everyone can get them, yet.

As he explained this to me, I thought about pointing out to him how unfair it was that he got to keep his special laptop that not many other people could get, which he got from a very special source...when I had to throw away a lozenge with similar credentials just minutes before.

But I was distracted by the conversation going on behind my back.

There was a young man explaining to another young man how current political powers were massing to bring about Armageddon.

"There are agents of the Beast who are right now working to make everyone in the world equal so that they can bring our country down to the level of other countries and bring about Armagheddon. Do you have any idea who that might be?"

I assume the other young man wrote some names down on a napkin or something, because I really didn't hear a reply, but the other young man seemed delighted with some sort of answer.

I couldn't help but overhear the conversation as the guy went through the _Left Behind_ series, and every single hair-brained conspiracy theory that I have ever even hear rumor of. It was masterful.

Rocky and I had a tremendous conversation about his trip, and some of the stuff he did and the people he talked to, and we talked about the play a little, and I told him about what had happened while he was gone...

Punctuated by dark intimations of the Jewish Monitary Conspiracy that was the Federal Reserve, and the heroics of certain politicians who were determined to preserve as much of the rightous church as possible for the final battle, and the implications of the gay agenda, and the importance os good spiritual hygiene and preperation for spiritual warfare in the conflict to come. They sounded really jazzed at the idea of rives of blood, death, and destruction. The identity of the horsement were discussed. The identity of the Beast was dicussed.

They covered everything.

Rocky and I would occasionally pause in our conversation just to gather our thoughts whenever a particularly noxious bit of craziness wafted over us.

What a weird night.

Saturday, 21 November 2009 13:40:02 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] |  |  |  | #

Rocky and I recently went to see "Faith Healer" at the Guthrie. It was pretty good. Not enjoyable, exactly. It was actually sort of bleakly challenging as a play. We were both really impressed by the ability of each of the three actors to dominate the stage. The story is told three times, not unlike the Akira Kurisowa film, Roshamon (sp?)...where different characters tell a story each from their own perspective. Anyway, what makes it difficult to watch is that the story is told as a series of four monologues.

Can you imagine being an actor who has to carry a 1/2 hour monologue all by him or herself? The actors did a very good job.

Anyway, I unfortunately had a coughing fit in the middle of the second monologue. Even though I had a cough lozenge in my mouth at the time. Those of you who have been to the Guthrie theater know that some attendees have an addiction to something called "fragrance layering" Basically, they bath in perfumed soap, put on perfumed lotion, spray themselves down with a perfumed body spray, and then dab a little perfume on their "pulse points". In short, they spend a lot of money to smell like Victorian era French prostitutes.

Often, if there is such a person near us, or if the residue of such a person is still on my seat, I will have a terrible time with coughing, sneezing, eye-watering, etc. This was such a night.

It was terrible, because I was trying desperately to not cough for a long time, and finally, I just couldn't help it.

A lady in front of us handed me a lozenge. Mortifying.

I had my own, but I took it rather than explain why I wasn't taking it. The coughing fit subsided, and I put it in my pocket.

When intermission came, she asked me how I liked the lozenge. I admitted that I had not yet tried it, but thanked her. She insisted that I must try it, that it was a very special lozenge, and that I would absolutely love it.

She was a nice-looking, conservatively dressed lady about the same age and style as my mother-in-law.
Prim, flesh-colored lipstick, sensible sweater of Nordic extraction over a turtleneck. A delicate gold chain with a scattering of little round shiny glass beads. Helmet hair.

Rocky mumbled something about getting me some coffee, and squeezed my shoulder to let me know that he was leaving, and I should try to catch him up when I was done with my conversation.

The lady went on about how great these lozenges were. I couldn't see a brand name on the one she gave me. It was bright yellow, round, and had an indistinguishable green image on the clear cellophane.

Her husband joined, in, singing the praises of the lozenge. They went on and on.

I excused myself as gracefully as possible, and fled. In line for coffee, I tried to explain the deeply creepy nature of the encounter to Rocky. He looked at me bemusedly, as if he were blowing off my perceptions as not quite credible.

We drank our coffee, and returned for the second half of the play. After the final bow, the older couple turned around and looked at me expectantly. "Thank you for the lozenge", I said, self-conscious of the fact that it was still in my pocket, and they obviously wanted to hear how much I liked it.

"Oh, you're welcome. These are VERY SPECIAL lozenges." (heads bobbing up and down in a way that was at the same time enthusiastic and prompting)

"Where did you get them?"

"We have a special source, you can't get them just anywhere. But they're really good." (bobblehead action continues)

"So, what are they?"

Hesitation; "We just love them. Don't you think it's wonderful?"

"Uh, yeah, so , uh, thank you very much...we have to get going, but thanks again."

I turned to Rocky as we exited the theater,

"See what I mean?"
"You threw it away, right?"
"I don't know, they sound pretty good..."
"Please throw it away."
"Roger that", I threw it away.

Saturday, 21 November 2009 12:57:23 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  | #
Thursday, 19 November 2009

It's finally happened, the Ori have had one of their priors infiltrate Minnesota politics:


Look out Minnesota.  Here they come. 

Thursday, 19 November 2009 08:07:34 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #
Sunday, 01 November 2009

It's that time of year again:

Event: A Klingon Christmas Carol
"Twelve Nights of Klingon Christmas - 2009"
What: Performance
Start Time: Friday, November 27 at 8:00pm
Where: Mixed Blood Theatre

Box office info:

This is a fundraiser for Commedia Beauregard, a theater group whose “mission is to translate the universal human experience to the stage: to expand our horizons and share knowledge of all cultures, translating between languages and between arts to create theater that is beautiful in expression.”

Please consider attending. The lines of the play will be delivered in the Klingon language (through the cooperation of the Klingon Language Association), with supertitles in Earth Standard (English) and with the help of a Vulcan narrator, who will also be speaking Earth Standard.

SQuj’a has a problem, but he can’t rescue himself. He is a Klingon and a coward. All of his life he has hidden behind his excuses, and fakery, as well as his service to the Empire as a businessman of means who helps “keep the empire running”. But there is more to life than just getting by, and SQuj’a has not yet lived as a Klingon. Time is running out, SQuja’s grows older, and soon he will die. If he dies still not a true Klingon, he will not be allowed to enter Stov-o-kor. His life will be wasted, and he will never be reunited with his beloved Bel, who now flies with the Black Fleet, an honor for her bravery and courage. Watch as Marl’I and the ghosts of Khaless past, present and future work to spark the pounding of a Klingon war drum in SQuj’a’s shriveled heart.

Whether you are a fan of Star Trek, or A Christmas Carol, or both…you will have a great time, viewing the great Christmas Classic “A Christmas Carol” in its original Klingon.

Sunday, 01 November 2009 13:01:11 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
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