Folding, spindeling, and mutilating lauguage for fun since Aug, 2004
Thursday, 31 January 2008
Thursday, 31 January 2008 14:14:25 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] |  | #
Not safe for work
Thursday, 31 January 2008 09:58:43 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #
Tuesday, 29 January 2008

Geekgoddess gets all whiney about poor injured people getting their money taken away by legal action by big corporations.

I also used to think like her, all commie pinko like that and stuff.

But I've recently had a conversion to free-market capitalism.

Just imagine the great heights that could be reached by our society if we made the dog-eat-dog world of business more prefectly dog-eat-doggier?

Just imagine how great our country would be if ANY paid service could not only charge you for the cost of operating their business, plus a modest profit, but then could ALSO charge you for anything that you got that was, in any way related to their service!

Like, just imagine what a great world we would live in if you rented a car, and they not only got to charge you for the rental of the car, but could also commondere your reimbursement from your employer or your business tax deductions?

Or, just imagine if you hired a cleaning service, and they cleaned your house, but if a friend happened to do a little cleaning for you in special preperation for a dinner party, they could charge you for the work your friend did!

It's genious!  And anyone who doesn't LOVE it is a commie atheist terrorist who hates our freedoms.


Tuesday, 29 January 2008 22:22:48 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [5] |  |  | #
Friday, 25 January 2008

A pastor recently said that Planned Parenthood is the #1 killer of Black People in this country, and a worse enemy of Black People than the KKK...

Because we know that providing access to affordable birth control, low-cost pelvic exams, and other Family Planning services in an effort to ensure that "Every baby is a wanted baby, and every mother is a health mother" is soooo much worse than treating people like animals, hunting them with dogs, and hanging them to death from trees in an effort to keep an entire group in a servile social position through violence and terror. 

But that is not the only attempt to link PP with the KKK.  Go to this site and take a peak at a picture proporting to show Margaret Sanger about to address the KKK.  Never mind that this is supposedly in 1926...and the photo of Ms. Sanger appears to be much closer to her age at her death in 1966...and no matter WHAT you do...don't look at the black "matlines" around her feet...

Just trust the picture, OK?

Ah well, maybe they came up with some better Photoshop jobs at the 3rd annual Margaret Sanger at the KKK rally art contest.

But David Lane would laugh at that idea, if you just ask him (I hear he likes to get phone calls), birth control is a "zionist" plot to exterminate the WHITE race.

I'd give a hat tip and a link to where I found the first link, but Neil finds it "creepy" when I link to him, and I try not to do more harm to already fragile people.  Anyway, you probably already know how to get there.

Friday, 25 January 2008 08:44:20 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] |  |  |  | #
Thursday, 24 January 2008

John Gibson

Fred Phelps

Personally, I hope that Mr. Ledger's family can find a way to hold Gibson accountable for his reckless characterizations of Mr. Ledger's death. 

As for what I wiahs for Phelps...some things are better left unsaid. 

[Update:  Gibson appologizes for insulting gay people in his little rant (actually, he says he's sorry that "they" took offense, but let's be generous and give him that one, because he needs the charity, and we can afford it.)  But does NOT apologize for mocking the recent death of another human being, making unsubstantiated characterizations about the cause and circumstances of the death, attacking and name-calling a recently deseaced person who can no longer defend himself, or for the travesty that is his continued presence on the public airwaves.]

[Update II  Fred Phelps has still not yet entered hell.]

Thursday, 24 January 2008 14:32:41 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] |  | #

You know what would go a LONG way to reducing our dependence on foreign oil?

If parents in well-to-do suburbs would stop driving their little darlings 1/2 block to the bus stop, and then sitting there for ten or fifteen minutes with the Lexus SUV running so little Chad and Muffy don't need to get their tootsies cold.


Thursday, 24 January 2008 13:37:58 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Wednesday, 23 January 2008

I was just volunteering at Adventure Boy's school today, scanning in and re-shelving text-books that had been issued to students for the semester.  I finished early, and the lady I was helping out gave me some "new" (as in recently purchased) books.

I had to put an inventory number on them, stamp and date them, and then shelve them.

Guess what I found out?

Our richie-rich school district buys USED textbooks.

Now, I'm OK with that, as the books were nice and seemed just as good as new.

But it's just one more thing that irritates me when people talk about how our schools are "wasteful".              

Wednesday, 23 January 2008 12:00:29 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [5] | #
Tuesday, 22 January 2008

1.  The pruney old Monex lady has been on the T.V freaking you out and trying to scare you into buying gold for more than six months.


...OK, your turn.  What's you darkly sarcastic sign that tells you that you're in a recession?

Tuesday, 22 January 2008 11:05:53 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [5] | #
Monday, 21 January 2008

"Don’t worry, this isn’t feel good new age spirituality, it is simple mind-body connection."

I mean, I'm not trying to dis the usefulness of visualization...'cause it CAN BE helpful for certain kinds of people, and practice can make you more effective at helpful visualisation.

Somehow, merely being useful rescues the concept of "mind-body connection" from the New Age label, I guess.

And through a doctor's guidence I used "biofeedback" to short-circuit panic attacks...I suppose 'cause it seemed to work in my case that makes it not "altie woo-woo medicine" even though it can't be scientifically verified to be effective across a random sample of the population?

Monday, 21 January 2008 23:21:16 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  | #

Christians ARE persecuted in the U.S.

This 71-year-old-lady got arrested just for going to church! (twice!)

(Hat Tip:

Monday, 21 January 2008 22:44:44 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #

The bad news is, that after months of fighting the good fight with liver cancer, my grandfather succumed to kidney failure today...just hours after I left his house near the Canadian border.  I knew that I would never see him alive again.  I did not know that he would pass away before I got to Bemidji.

I've been asked to write a eulogy.  It's a big job to eulogize a great man.

My parents were greatly comforted/relieved when he accepted the eucharist yesterday, for the first time in his life. 

To me, it is most important that he lived as a person should live.

While we were up there visiting, they were giving him morphine tablets to dissolve under his tongue.  He was told that the tablets should bring relief within fifteen minutes.  If it didn't he was supposed to take another one.

Grandpa always took things like this very seriously, but especially self-care things.  For years, he has put five miles a day on his stationary bicycle...including during his chemo treatments.

He assigned himelf daily chores, and made sure that he performed them every day.  Whenever he could, he looked for additional ways to help my mom around the house as time and energy permitted.  He kept track of his own medications, and managed his own affairs to the largest extent possible.

So needless to say, when the morphine tablet he took didn't help within fifteen minutes, he took another one.l  It knocked him competely loopy for 24 hours.  We showed up near the end of this timee, and he said "I'll never do THAT again" and went back to sleep.

A ittle later he woke upand said "I can't believe people pay money to feel like this.  That doesn't make sense."

A few hours later, he perked up again, and I asked him  if he would like to see Grasshopper, who had been able to come with me.  He nodded and said "yeah".

So I went upstairs and got Grasshopper and told him that Great-grandpa was ready to talk to him.

He went down there, and my grandpa craned his neck so that he could see Grasshopper and his little cousin, who had also come down.  He was somewhat hampered by his weakened state and the oxygen hose and other accoutrements.  He looked over at them and made eye contact, and said:

"Stay off the dope.  It's terrible.  You can't remember anything from one minute to the next."

They nodded somberly, and he fell back asleep.  My sister and I tried to stifle our giggles, because he said "Stay off the dope" in such a funny way.

A little later, all of us kids were in the room visiting as grandpa faded in-and-out of conciousness.  He'd open his eyes and smile at some fragment of conversation that he over-heard, and then fade out again.

At one point, we ran out of things to say, and lapsed into silence.  Grandpa's eye shot open and he said "Oh!"

We said "You OK grandpa?  You want something, some water or tomato soup or something?"

"No, I'm alright, you were all talking, and you stopped and it was quiet.  It was spooky." then he laughed, and fell back asleep.

He thought he'd died.  Given how difficult it was for him to talk, and how much effort he had to make himself understood at should tell us how important it was to him to be useful to others.  He was helping us with his humor and his advice, taking care of us in his way.

He went down-hill fast over the two-and-a-half days I was there.  From getting with help to visit the bathroom, to having to not being able to drink from a straw.

I held his hand as much as I could, and even when he was unconcious, he would squeeze my hand from time-to-time, to let me know that he knew someone was there.

Monday, 21 January 2008 21:49:39 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [5] | #
Wednesday, 16 January 2008

And first prize in the "just not gettin' it" catagory goes to...

Michele "jerk for Jesus" Bachman

Who brags about how great Minnesota is because of all the people working long hours and multiple jobs.

Just keep doing what your doing Michele, and pretty soon, by your standards, America will be the greatest country in the world!

You still have a lot to do, though.  I know if you keep at it and don't give up, some day our seven-year-olds can acheive the dream or working 12 -hour shifts like their lucky Bangladeshi counterparts today!

(Hat Tip: Pharyngula)

Wednesday, 16 January 2008 20:06:07 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] |  |  |  | #

So Rocky and I have been married for twenty years.

He offered to take me on a big trip even though he travels so much it makes him sick.

But I couldn't think of anywhere I wanted to be more than here.

He offere to buy me something big...

...but I couldn't think of anything I wanted.

We were going to go out and spend the day together, but Grasshopper had to stay home with the flu today.

And all I can think about this is; if staying home and taking care of your child with the guy you love feels like the best way to spend your anniversary, you probably don't have anything to worry about.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HONEY!  You up for 20 more years? the math guys.  I've been married to this guy HALF my life.



Wednesday, 16 January 2008 10:59:22 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [8] | #

Between jjkaiser and Snideblog.

To bad Snide's too busy to post often.

Wednesday, 16 January 2008 10:27:18 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Tuesday, 15 January 2008

So Huckabee wants to amend the Constitution to line up with Biblical priciples?

At least he's honest.

Sure he's the Republican front-runner and everything but I'm not worried...

...but mostly that's because I live a mere eight-our drive from the Canadian border.

Less if I don't like my car too much.

And I don't think I'll have to rush.  We can get everything packed up and have a leisurly drive into the neighboring country long before they run out of homosexuals and witches.

(Hat Tip: Pharyngula)

Tuesday, 15 January 2008 16:43:56 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [9] |  | #
Monday, 14 January 2008

Your Score: The Raven

You scored 20% domestic, 39% gregarious, 50% trickster, and 61% intellect!

Wild, Solitary, Serious and Intellectual: you are the Raven! Raven is a strong symbol of both creation and destruction. Wisdom through intelligence, observation, and challenge. Raven is strongly tied to the spiritual world, living in a constant state of otherworldly awareness. Raven people tend to be very introspective and savor time spent ‘alone’.

This test categorized you based on four different axes of personality, which were then associated with a different animal. The four axes, as well as all possible results are explained below.

Wild/Domestic: This first axis categorizes you based on how much you are drawn to the outdoors, versus how much you are drawn to civilized situations. Domesticity has many shapes and forms, and varies from the joy of dolphins leaping next to a ship to the steadfast loyalty of a family dog.

Gregarious/Solitary: This axis measures how solitary you are. If you scored high, it means that you enjoy the company of other people, while a low score indicates that you prefer a more solitary lifestyle.

Trickster/Serious: This axis measures how well you line up with conventional trickster archetypes. People who fall into this archetype have a sense of humor and an excitable, highly chaotic streak. Scoring low doesn't mean that you don't have a sense of humor; it just means that you probably don't think dynamite is very funny.

Intellectual/Emotional: This last axis determines whether you are more emotional -- acting based on feelings and instinct, or rational and intelectual -- acting more on thought than on your gut feelings.

Wild Gregarious Trickster Intellectual The Hyena
Wild Gregarious Trickster Emotional The Otter
Wild Gregarious Serious Intellectual The Antelope
Wild Gregarious Serious Emotional The Wolf
Wild Solitary Trickster Intellectual The Weasel
Wild Solitary Trickster Emotional The Coyote
Wild Solitary Serious Intellectual The Raven
Wild Solitary Serious Emotional The Frog
Domestic Gregarious Trickster Intellectual The Fox
Domestic Gregarious Trickster Emotional The Dolphin
Domestic Gregarious Serious Intellectual The Horse
Domestic Gregarious Serious Emotional The Dog
Domestic Solitary Trickster Intellectual The Rat
Domestic Solitary Trickster Emotional The Ferret
Domestic Solitary Serious Intellectual The Cat
Domestic Solitary Serious Emotional The Squirrel

Link: The Animal Archetype Test written by crumpetsfortea on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
View My Profile(crumpetsfortea)

(Hat Tip:  Alenaae)

Monday, 14 January 2008 22:41:32 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #

But what I want to know is, will it be ready for Valentine's Day?

The link takes you to a story that tells how researchers created a functioning heart in a lab (At the U of M, naturally)

(Hat Tip: Pharyngula)


Monday, 14 January 2008 14:59:20 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Sunday, 13 January 2008

One of my fellow Kung Fu students is in this group, and sent me an e-mail promoting a free show.  The full text follows below.

If you have a chance, I highly recommend it.  I've seen it and it is fun!


Hello from the PHYSICS FORCE and the University of Minnesota


  You received this message because someone you know feels you would enjoy seeing the Physics Circus admission FREE! The show will be presented one night only (Thursday, January 17th) at Northrop Auditorium on the U of M campus at 7:00 PM. Bring the family and friends, get a seat, and enjoy over an hour of great fun.


  For over twenty years the Physics Force has attracted standing-room only audiences. They have been featured on Newton's Apple, at the Minnesota State Fair, and at Disney World's Epcott Center. They traveled three times to Europe and appeared on German television as guests of the "Knoff Hoff" show. A trademark of their show is "bigger is better." Why implode a pop can when a 55-gallon drum is available?

Why shoot down a mythical monkey when the target could be a live person dropping from a scaffold 20 feet high! This program is a delight for parents, grandparents and children of all ages. Science teachers and their students are fascinated and so are those that know little about physics.


  To learn more about the group go to:


  Please consider sending this message to your friends inviting them to come. We have little budget for promoting the FREE show on Thursday the 17th of January at 7:00 PM, so please help us if you can by forwarding this message on to friends.


  Thanks in advance from the Physics Force gang: Dan Dahlberg, Hank Ryan, Jack Netland, Fred Orsted, Aaron Pinski and Jay Dornfeld.


Sunday, 13 January 2008 15:32:39 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] |  | #
Saturday, 12 January 2008
Saturday, 12 January 2008 19:36:50 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #

OK, I went and read the Strib article. (here it is)

And my first reaction is this:


These kids are up in arms over violating terms that they agreed to...and protesting punishments that they agreed to.

Plus, hey, I went to a school where almost everyone carried a pocket knife, and it wasn't that unusual for kids to be seen with "pocket knives" that could be used to fielddress a deer.

To give you some perspective, a former class-mate was in trouble a while ago because, as the principal of a rural school, he thought nothing of firing a shotgun on school property to dispatch a couple of ferrel kittens in a mercy-killing.  It litereally didn't occure to him that in this day-and-age, it might cause a rukus.

It was not unusual to see pick-up trucks parked in the student parking lot with a rack full of guns in the back window.  Fighting in school was not taken very seriously, and I had a target in my locker for a while, where I would blow off steam by throwing Shurikin into the target when there was not a lot of traffic in the halls.

But everyone knew, if they caught you drinking, it would result in harsh disciplinary action.  People got kicked off teams and out of clubs, etc.  It was just something that happened, and not just drinking.  SMOKING could get you disciplinary action.

The student conduct code was quite specific on those things.

To be sure, the administration didn't try too hard, and pretty much everybody did those things anyway...but you had to make sure that you were not caught, because if you were there would be consequences.

I can't believe that anyone is asking for a pass on this.

And given the highly conservative demographic of this area, I'm really surprised.  I thought Bush-lovin' Republicans were supposed to be all for the morals and ethics and law-and-order.

But I guess not when it's their kids.


Saturday, 12 January 2008 13:59:16 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [10] | #

Fellow Green Monky, regular reader and friend, Bob Wagner has some advice for a woman whose husband left their baby in the truck in the middle of Wisconsin in winter while he went and spent time in a strip club:

And ladies, if perchance you are married to the kind of moron who leaves the baby in the car, in Wisconsin, in Winter or anywhere else any time else for any reason else, and if, perchance you get a call from the police informing you of this by all means, forgive your man. Men are human and quite often we're not terribly bright. We fuck up but we still love you. So by all means forgive him. But before you forgive him PUNCH HIM. Punch him hard, punch him vigorously. Punch him in the mouth, nose throat and groin. Punch him like a monkey on crack. I don't know what that means exactly but you get the idea. Punch him until the cops render you unable to punch him. THEN forgive him. But first-say it with me-PUNCH HIM.

Story link below

Now, I have a very different perspective on life and philosophy of being than Bob does.  Our social, spiritual, and personal differences can be quite a bit apart in some ways...

But here's one of the areas where I'm all-in in agreement with him:

Forgive the guy if you must, but ladies, if he endangers your child, make sure he remembers to NEVER do it again.

Oh, the entry I linked to starts out with a story about Eden Prairie teens that I was unaware I'll probably go look into that more and comment on it later.

Saturday, 12 January 2008 13:12:36 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Thursday, 10 January 2008

You all are going to have to step up your misappropriation of information and the intellectual property of others!

The Muslim creationists are outdoing you!  Maybe not in quantity, but in quality.  The audacity and virtuosity of stealing someone's artistic images of fishing lures and passing them off as original photos of real animals is just...well, not something YOU'VE been gutsy enough to try to pull off.  I think you need to up your game a little bit, or your are going to fall behind in the production of converts from the ranks of the credulous and mentally pusillanimous.

So this guy got out there and appropriated some photos of fishing lures, and tried to pawn them off as living creatures.  That's OK...shake it off.  You can beat this.  Maybe photos of Baudette's "Willy the Walleye" statue?

Or you could ignore the Muslim creationist's tactic completely and build on what you've already done.

There's the Harvard science video that you co-opted for your own purposes...that's something.  So  where can you go with that?    Perhaps footage from "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" as documentation of the variation that can exsist within species?  (Or to prove that all "mutations" are maladaptive?)

Well, anyway, I'll leave it up to you.  I'm sure you'll figure SOMETHING out.  After all, you managed to pass the selctively-bred-by-humans modern bannana off as something specifically designed by God.

You'll bounce back.

(Hat Tip: Pharyngula)

Thursday, 10 January 2008 08:44:21 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Wednesday, 09 January 2008

Hey family!  It's not that I don't appreciate it and all, but all of the wobbly tables have been stabalized, the hermit crabs cage has been lined, and the drafty crack in the wall behind the crapper in the upstairs bathroom has been insulated... you can stop sending my kids Bill O'Reilly's works of fiction for children now.

(oh, all right, I admit it, I have this book thing, and I can't seem to bring myself to really treat them that way, I DID pass them on to the kids -call it "social Saulkism"- but really, they can only read ONE copy at a time, so it's alright, you can stop now)

Wednesday, 09 January 2008 21:19:56 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  | #
Tuesday, 08 January 2008

Oh sure, I make fun of a charge of witchcraft, and look what I get...

A website calling itself “Christians for Truth” tells the story of a minister who claims he is in danger of being killed by witches who accuse him of discriminating against those who worship Satan, because he only hires Christians.


I guess they have a real witch problem.

So it MUST be true.

That poor, poor man.  It sounds like he’s surrounded by whole villages full of people who were driven from their homes due to charges of witchcraft.

One wonders, when the “witches” rise up and destroy their accusers, will it be decried as “Persecution of Christians?”

Naturally, the ensuing extermination of “witches" would only be “self-defense”.


I suppose asking why we just can’t all get along would be futile and superfluous?

Tuesday, 08 January 2008 14:58:45 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  | #

I think I've mentioned that Adventure Boy is a Rush fan.

I might have also managed to convey his idolization of Geddy Lee.

Well...Adventure Boy has spent his own money, much of it earned by his roofing work for our neighbor and some sales work for a friend, to buy an acoustic/electric four-string bass guitar.

Here's pictures:



Sorry about all the finger prints.

Anyway, for those of you who watch Firefly, he's named the guitar "Vera".  It might give you an idea of how fiercly he feels toward the thing, and how hard-won he feels it is.

My sister showed him proper posture and hand position in a lesson up north during Christmas, gave him a book to teach himself with and turned him loose.  All he needed was a guitar, and now he has one.

There will be nothing to stop him now.

Tuesday, 08 January 2008 08:42:50 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] | #
Tuesday, 08 January 2008 08:05:35 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #
Monday, 07 January 2008

Sorry to do this to you, but you realize you voluntarily enter a little piece of my mind whenever you come here.

Fair warning.


How many different things are wrong with this town name?

Dicksville Notch.

Monday, 07 January 2008 21:48:50 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] | #
Thursday, 03 January 2008

A while ago I came across a link to a video on Jason Bock's blog.  It was a link to an excerpt from Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture".

I ended up downloading the whole lecture and making my family watch it.  I recommend it highly.

It was a funny, charming, lecture about how to realize your childhood dreams from a guy who has Metastized Pancreatic Cancer.

I go to Dr. Pausch's page from time-to-time to see how he is doing.

He has a medical update page as well.

Dr. Pausch is a great speaker and seems to have lived with the intensity of a dying romantic BEFORE he got terminally ill.

I thought some of you might be moved and inspired by the story.

Thursday, 03 January 2008 20:58:00 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
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