Folding, spindeling, and mutilating lauguage for fun since Aug, 2004
Thursday, November 29, 2007

Weird relation to a news story.

When I was a kid, I used to come home from school in the winter and strap on my cross country skis.  I would then hit what my family referred to as "the Pipline trail"...a long strip of clear-cutting that ran over a pipeline route that went past my house.  The stretch we lived on was between Cass Lake and Bemidji.

Apparently, the Enbridge Energy Pipline exploded near Clearbrook, causing oil prices to rise.

The explosion happened nowhere near my childhood home, and nowhere near the stretch where I pushed myself to cover our little loop through the woods, down the pipeline, and back through the woods to our house, in less and less time every day; pushing myself to physically burn up the frustrations and stress of a day in High School.

It's strange when you actually know the place where the news on CNN is happening.  I just wish that sometimes it could have something to do with something other than schools getting shot up, guys in my graduating class blowing away helpless kittens on school grounds, or stuff blowing up.

Hey CNN!  Can't you go to the area to do one of your feel-good puff pieces?  Our area has sent lots and lots of soldiers to Iraq, and many of them are wholesome, hometown kids.  ONE of them must have done something inspirational and heartwarming.   Just a thought.  We've got a lot of wonderful social service NGO's at work up there.  I'm sure you could find someone for your Heroes segment.

Do it for me...K?

Thursday, November 29, 2007 10:26:11 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #

You have ads airing aimed at people who are at home in the middle of the day that make it seem as though spending $1,500 for a diningroom set is a GREAT DEAL (a savings from $3,500)...

But one of the top school districts in the state spending $9,000 per year per student is WAAAAAYYY too much money.

Thursday, November 29, 2007 8:28:54 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [4] | #
Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Come on, Western teachers living in Islamic countries.

Don't you know how to insult religion? 

Naming a toy animal after The Prophet is so unimaginative.

You've got to get REALLY creative in order to insult religion.  Try whipping them into a frenzy over something like; oh I don't know:

 

Imply that making Jesus cookies isn't particularly worthy of a college degree.

Try THAT for a start.

It's all very well and good to name their most holy figure after an animal, but you KNOW religious types go ape-shit over that sort of thing.

Now, if you can put them into a tizzy over implying that learning the theological intracacies of staying barefoot and pregnant, voting how your husband tells you to, and getting dinner on the table at 6:00 are not college material...THAT'S making 'em come with the crazy.

Remember:  It's not just about the severity of their reaction, it's the inanity of the things that put them over the edge.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007 11:45:49 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [4] | #

For those of you who do not believe that our great Republic benefits from the constant infusion of culture, language, and perspective of our alien residents, I offer a challenge to your closed-minded ways.

On December 8th, 2007; At 7:30 PM; for the mere pittance of $20 USD (effective price dropping daily) you can witness the charming and immortal tale; "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens.

But this isn't just ANY rendering in ordinary English.  No it is not!

 

Come to the University of MN Saint Paul campus

Student Center Theater

2017 Buford Avenue

St. Paul, MN 55108

 

There, you will witness the moralizing, liberal, whiney, orphan-hugger words of Charles Dickens transformed!

Commedia Beauregard will give that pallid old Englishman an infusion of Klingon-American honor, courage, and (I assume) bloodlust!

That's right "A Klingon Christmas Carol".

See it Dec. 8th at 7:30 PM  Tickets at:  www.ticketworks.com or (615)209-6689

Oh, did I mention that this is a fund-raiser?  Proceeds from this performance will assist in funding future productions, commissioning new translations of foreign-language plays, and helping to further the understanding of the world's cultures, and (I assume) other world's cultures.

Don't miss it! 

Oh, and...Q'aplah!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007 8:14:12 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] |  |  |  | #
Sunday, November 25, 2007

While I'm sympathetic to this guy's anti-war views...

And I'm all about putting anti-establishment bumper stickers on your car...

WHO THE HELL carries a digital audio recorder in a pistol case in their vehicle?  Why would you do that?

Not that there is anything WRONG with doing it...I just don't understand why you would.  It seems like it would just not work as well as, oh I don't know...a digital audio recorder case?

I realize that I'm just a dopy liberal who can't even understand something as simple as why you would want to gather together a large group of fundies to stage a revolt to turn South Carolina into a theocratic republic...

But it just seems odd to me.

But at least they're not alone.  Ron Paul understands them.  And is willing to take arrows for them.

Thank God for Ron Paul.

Thank God the poor misunderstood Americans who understand that we have to destroy America to save it have SOMEONE to go to bat for them.

Sunday, November 25, 2007 8:10:13 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [4] |  |  | #
Friday, November 23, 2007

This is pretty cool, but I would have also been cool with being Perfect Tommy...but he's not even an option!!!

 

 

Your Score: Buckaroo Banzai

179 Heart, 156 Genius, 150 Cool, 131 Excitability

Buckaroo Banzai - (Peter Weller)
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

You are Buckaroo Banzai! Hard-rockin' neurosurgeon, brilliant scientist, and all-around cool guy. Maybe you didn't have the cinematic success of some of the other guys here, but it's okay - you're a cult classic!

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't be mean. We don't have to be mean because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are."

Other scientific possibilities:
Gary Wallace
Wyatt Donnelly
Peter Venkman
Jordan Cochran
Egon Spengler
Doc Brown
Newton Crosby
Paul Stephens
Ben Crandall
Wayne Szalinkski
Winston Zeddemore
Ben Jabituya
Lazlo Hollyfeld
Ray Stantz
Buckaroo Banzai
Chris Knight

Link: The Which 80s Movie Scientist Test written by xxyl on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

(Hat Tip: GeekGoddess)

Friday, November 23, 2007 10:23:08 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #

Absolutely.  Teach the Bible as "history" and "literature" in public school!

 

I actually feel that if you do that, the kids should be required to read it cover-to-cover.  None of this picking-and-chooseing, no "interpreting" it (in other words, taking this verse or that verse out of context and giving it an interpretation that is acceptable in the modern world....leave those suckers in context so the kids can REALLY understand EXACTLY what those verses entail), No spotty and selective use of parts of various versions and translations air-brushed together like a composite super-model...just the most attractive parts of each one with the problematic portions of some versions being superceded by more convenient ones from others.

Kids will be fleeing the church in droves.

Some will drop before they get through the contradictory creation stories.

Unfortunatly, that doesn't appear to be the plan of this particular organization.

(Hat Tip: Jason Bock)

Friday, November 23, 2007 9:43:19 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #

Neil at 4Simpsons drags out the old chestnut about how the religious give more money to charity.

About 30% more, according to the article he cited.

Of course, one MUST remember that "Charitable" giving by the religious include donations to build the corporate mega-church's health club, coffee bar, and movie theater.

Color me unimpressed.

Also fun is the fact that the article he cites says that Conservatives are less wealthy and less educated than liberals...and I seem to recall some fairly staunch claims to the contrary on the part of Neil, and Theobromophile a while back...claiming that conservatives are over-whelmingly wealthier and better educated than liberals (but the liberals are the "effete intellectual elite...just dumb, powerless, uneducated and poor elite who somehow still manage to oppress the terribly burdoned and persecuted conservatives).

...typical attempt to have the broad brush paint both directions.

From where I sit, it seems that the religious conservatives weighted at the extreme ends of the spectrum, the obscenely rich, and the obscenely poor who do their bidding...with another sizeable distribution throughout the almost-upper-middle-class small business owner who is just SURE he's going to be the next Ray Kroc.

(this last is characterized in my mind by my High-School English teacher who sold Herbalife to students and co-workers on school time, came to work every day in a three-peice-suit, took our grammar exercises from books written by Zig Zeigler, Dale Carnegie, and Ray Kroc, and preached loud, bombastic sermons on the importance of realizing that you should be completely servile and agreeable to you boss because he was THE ONE who owned your peon ass.  If you just kow-towed enough over the next fifty years, you might wake up a sucessful millionaire.  who cares if he wanted you to work sixty-hours a week?  You only need four hours of sleep anyway.  I always thought that his eyes bugged out so much because he had some sort of genetic deformity.  However, given the chemical nature of Herbalife at the time he was pushing it, I wonder if there wasn't some other reason, now...anyway, say what you want about the guy, at least he really really hated communists.)

Friday, November 23, 2007 9:20:17 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Look, it’s not about your ethnicity.  It’s about fairness.  We just want to be fair.   If you come to the country legally, go through the proper channels, work hard, and do the right thing, we will welcome you.

Ha Ha…just kidding!

(Hat Tip: FrecklesCassie)

If you work hard and pay your taxes, and follow the laws and participate in the system, it will work for you.

Psych!

The system is set up to give everyone a fair shake, and make sure that everyone’s voice is heard...

...or the words that are ascribed to them by the government translator...whichever will lead to a conviction.

None of this has anything to do with the color of your skin.

Honestly.  It’s just the illegals who we want to give trouble to.

(Hat Tip: Alenaae)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007 6:34:44 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Monday, November 19, 2007

Neil at 4 Simpsons has an entry that is a little out of the ordinary for him.  I thought it was interesting.  He recounts a statement by a fellow Christian that he could not be a police officer because he was a Christian.

Neil seems to be perplexed by this idea.  I find that remarkable, since Neil himself has expressed the idea that the intention of the founders was for America to be a "Christian" nation, and that secularists have usurped the rightful position of Christianity in our society.

Is it any wonder that a "Christian" would then decide that serving as a peace officer to bring stability and functionality on behalf of this secular government is a bad, anti-Christian action?  How does this perplex Neil when the argument is all over the place to be seen and read and understood?

As his fellow "Christians" work daily to destroy secular civil government, Neil has an interesting perspective; supporting the rhetoric and parroting it, while claiming to oppose the actions, and also insisting he doesn't understand the conclusions of people who want to destroy public education, public health, and public order.

Of course a certain type of Christian would conclude that maintaing order and viability in a secular state is anti-Christian.  Only the death of the secular state will result in the kind of world they want, where the church is the ultimate authority in civil life.

I'm constantly amazed as he quotes stories and espouses viewpoints from One News Now, a project headed and funded by supporters and disciples of R.J. Rushdoony.  Yet, he claims to not even know who these people are, and at the same time, claimes to oppose their goals, while he promotes their arguments and rhetoric.

I really really think he has to be smarter than that.

Monday, November 19, 2007 2:16:11 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [14] | #
Sunday, November 18, 2007

Someone just sent me a copy of a recommendation letter that they wrote on my behalf...

Wow.

It's good to hear nice and glowing things about yourself...even if you can't quite bring yourself to believe them.

Sunday, November 18, 2007 11:49:48 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Friday, November 16, 2007

OK, so, I've heard a great deal about John Scalzi's much-vaunted trip to the Creation Museum.

Jason Bock linked to Scalzi's review, and I finally caved.

I mixed myself a glass of liquid courage, and clicked the link...

...and promptly spewed said liquid courage all over my screen in an Olympic-grade spit-take.

You wonder what could have possibly caused such a reaction?  Take a look at this picture:

 

 

 

For one terrible moment there, I found myself wondering why a sheep's head was sprouting from the

place where Adam's penis should be.  then, I finally realized that the apendage on our side of the sheep is an arm,

not the other leg.

 

The moral of this story is:  Do not drink while viewing pictures of the Creation Museum.

I'm still wondering what the penguin is doing in the tropical paradise of Eden.  If some creationist tells me that the penguins have to endure the rigors of their survival because of the fall of man, I'm going to be pissed.  I mean, what sort of God would design penguins to live in a tropical paradise, and then...because some two-legged lamb-penised human eats an apple, God banishes them to an icy wasteland?

Come on, God!  Not OK, Dude.

Friday, November 16, 2007 9:51:47 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Wednesday, November 14, 2007

So I wrote an e-mail to my friend, Mike, who I took over the Kung Fu classes for.  I was asking him for some information, and then told him that I thought the classes were going well, with the exception that I felt like the kids were still looking at me like I was from another planet, so I must do things very differently from him.

He just responded.  Among other things, he says: "They are probably looking at you like you are from anothere planet because you are really weird, and probably have booger or something hanging out of your nose."

mutter mumble grumble.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007 8:38:48 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  | #
Monday, November 12, 2007

Get this, an anti-tax group in Minnesota is suing for the right to lie when fighting against bond referendums.

The money shot from this article?

You’ll love it.

Paul Dorr, the Iowa consultant who helped organize the Robbinsdale anti-referendum campaign and has helped sink dozens of school levy and bond referendums in Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota, Missouri and Minnesota, said he didn't think there was anything racist about the Robbinsdale campaign. But he said he distanced himself from the effort because of his involvement in U.S. Rep. Ron Paul's presidential campaign.  (emphasis mine)
 

And you can see why he would want to distance himself from such activity:  Here’s a quote from this article

Both the literature and phone calls contained half-truths and lies, pro-levy organizers said. One accusation was that the district was recruiting minority students from north Minneapolis and paying for taxis to bring them to Robbinsdale. The literature then blamed this for increased violence, gang activity and rising special education costs.

All this is false: The district doesn’t recruit Minneapolis students and doesn’t pay for their transportation; violence and gang activity haven’t risen and special education costs have not gone up because of these students. Mack said 1,300 students from 35 districts are enrolled in Robbinsdale schools, while 1,100 district students use open enrollment to attend schools elsewhere.

However, most students from North Minneapolis who enroll in Robbinsdale are African-American. By using them on their literature, school and campaign officials say 281CARE is exploiting bigotry.

 

Now, you HAVE to respect his commitment to libertarian ideals.  Fighting for the right to lie to the public in his quest to destroy public education.  THAT’S commitment.  And hey the genius is, that if you destroy public education, it will be sooooo much easier to lie!  Oh yeah.  He's crazy all right, crazy like a fox.

How DID Ron Paul manage to get ahold of this guy?

[UPDATE:  But maybe I'm being unfair.  Maybe I should let Paul Dorr tell you himself.]

 

Monday, November 12, 2007 11:34:22 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] |  | #

Neil at 4 Simpsons has the answer to poverty!  Turning female sexuality into a commodity traded away for life in exchange for financial security.

Theobromophile chimes in with a lovely quote from Ann Coulter which implies that sexual virtue is the sole responsibility of women (at least, I assume what it means.  After all, I don't think Ann Coulter is THAT clueless about sex that she thinks "keep your knees together until marriage" would help boys avoid pregnancy at all.  I realize that in order to practice what she preaches, Ann would have to be the virgin ice queen of conservatism, but she must have picked up SOME information SOMEWHERE)

Theobromophile then goes on to pontificate about how girls who have sex don't have time to do schoolwork, athletics, go to the movies or play mini-golf.

Make me wonder just how much time sex actually takes anyway.  Am I doing it wrong?  Granted, I didn't have sex in Highschool either, but I can't imagine that it takes THAT much more time for a teenager than for a young married 20-year-old (I got through college with a 3.9, sometimes held down two jobs at once, and occasionally went out to the movies or drinking with my buddies.  No mini-golf, though.  Mini-golf is just lame.)

Of course, now that I'm forty there's probably no point, and even less safety in learning whatever techniques highschool girls have mastered that makes sex take enough time to crowd out all other activities.

Monday, November 12, 2007 7:35:56 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Saturday, November 10, 2007

Should I be disturbed that there are girls calling at 8:30 PM at night asking to speak with my 10-year-old boy?

Is this just what the young whipper-snappers do now-a-days?

Is it my age that makes this seem wrong, my strict upbringing, or is it just that girl-children these days have turned into cheap floozies?

As always, my response is that he's busy, and can I take a message?

"Just tell him so-an-so called."  Giggle, hang up.

argh.

Does he need this kind of attention?  I don't think so.  Not at ten.

Sigh.

Saturday, November 10, 2007 8:53:11 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] | #
Friday, November 09, 2007

You guys totally have to see this.  I stole it from Jason Bock's blog, because I don't care HOW BAD your day is, this will make you feel better.

 

 

I remember when the boys would get in a giggle fit, and the slightest thing would set them off like this. I always enjoyed it...but I also often worried that they would end up vomiting.

Friday, November 09, 2007 7:25:47 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] | #
Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Wait just a gol-darned minnit here!

Geekgoddess is on a "watch list" ?!?!?!

NO FAIR!

I've never even had to walk through a metal detector more than once.

I mean, for goodness sakes, Geekgoddess has even served honorably in the U.S. millitary!

It's a disgrace.

 

Wednesday, November 07, 2007 8:26:23 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] |  |  | #
Tuesday, November 06, 2007

For those of you who have been wondering if the world opened up under my feet and swallowed me whole, or if the ferocious Neo-Nazi home-decorator squad came and got me, none of the above.

I've been cutting up deer, organizing my house, cutting up piles and piles of undonatable junk clothing into quilting squares, and trying to rid the yard of fall leaves.

Also, I've been volunteering as an ESL tutor.  So far, I've been teaching a Somali woman and a Ukranian man.  I highly recommend doing ESL tutoring for anyone who thinks that immigrants are just lazy slugs coming here to drain our society.  You wouldn't believe how hard-working and appreciative they are.  They are America's greatest fans, happy to be here, and looking forward to forging a great future in the "land of opportunity".  Programs can always use more tutors.

Oh yeah, and they've added three Kung Fu classes to my teaching schedule.  I've got my two special needs classes, two classes for typical children, and an adult class.  One of my classes has 20 students!  I might have a co-teacher as soon as one of the other second degree black belts returns from hernia surgery...but I don't know.  I might be on my own from now on!

Needless to say, time has been a little tight, but this Kung Fu teaching is starting to look more and more like a job than a marginally profitable hobby.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007 11:07:10 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] |  |  | #

Rocky shot a deer last weekend.  Adventure Boy saw some deer, but he chose not to shoot, because he did not think he had a very good shot, and didn't want to risk wounding the deer, so he just sat and watched them, waiting for the chance to take a shot.  It never came.  I think a lot of fourteen year olds would have found the temptation too great, and taken a pot-shot.  I am very proud of him for being responsible.

Besides, we still have venison in the freezer from his killing spree last year.  Lord knows, the kid has plenty of kills under his belt.  He's still averaging one deer for each season.  :-)

Rocky got a spike doe.

Those of you who know something about deer anatomy and physiology will recongnize a problem there.  That's right a "spike" refers to the antlers of a deer being small, single spikes.  This indicates a young buck.

Does do not have antlers.

Usually.

That's right, Rocky shot an intersexed deer.  It's rare, but it happens, and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.  There's nothing "unnatural" about it.

I'm sure it will be delicious.  We are equal opportunity carnivores.  No discrimination here.

I have completely butchered the deer.  All that remains is to grind the hamburger meat (which is currently in the freezer), and donate the hide.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007 10:54:59 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [6] | #
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