Up late night drinking with Sue.  Really drunk.  Four Colorado Bulldogs.

Promised not to reveal what she talked about…but it got me thinking…

Am I zen because I can accept the totality of my experience as me…

Or can I accept the totality of my experience as me because right now it’s good and easy?

If the shit hit the fan again…would I become someone I don’t like/respect once again?

Am I who I think I am?

Answer:  All self is impermanent.  Concept of self is a conceit.  You are who you are from moment to moment.  Who you will be tomorrow is dependant on acceptance of being.  Striving, self-concept and fear are antithetical to this.  Self doubt is a sign of not being…but of striving and self-concept, which should be abandoned.

So the answer is:  "No, you’re not there yet."

I'm not enlightened AND I have to wake up again in three hours??

Crap.