We went to see X-Men 3 yesterday (as you will note in the entry below) and one of the previews was for The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift.
So I thought “What? They’re making another one?”
Yep…except without Vin Deisel and with a new twist. The races involve a technique called “drifting”. This is supposed to make the movie that much more cool and compelling.
When I was a kid in Bemidji, we called it “whipping shittys”. It was the big thing before “mudding” came along. You could do it out on the lake in the winter time, or in the Pamida parking lot, or along any one of a half dozen routs in the area with multiple hair-pin curves woven through swampland…or around corners in town on slow nights after about 3:00 AM.
And I dare any of those slick-haired pretty boys with their fancy mods to try to equal my friend Libby’s performance with the great maroon Catalina (with sloppy suspension) named “Bertha”. I’d like to see them try that shit. They’d never make it. Pee Wee Herman could do it with $100,000 worth of mods on his car. It takes skill to do it with a rust-bucket like Bertha.
“Drifting” with Bertha was a little like trying to drive a greased whale down a mountainside. THAT takes skill, and you can’t do it if you are worried about the wind mussing up your gel-and-glitter hair-do.
I have to say, the premise of this movie is a little weak. If it’s such a big deal, how come any ignorant redneck in Bemidji can do it? And furthermore…the ignorant rednecks in Bemidji do it because they must. There’s nothing else to do…this movie is set in TOKYO for Gods sake. I’m sure they could come up with something a little less bored-Midwestern-youth-with –too-much-beer-in-them.
What’s next?
The Fast and the Furious: Home-made explosives from common household items set off in gravel pits in Amsterdam?
Or:
The Fast and the Furious: Mudding in huge 4X4’s down flooded logging trails in Borneo?
Oh! Oh! I know!
The Fast and the Furious: Snipe hunting and cow-tipping with some stupid tourist in New Zealand!
Yeah. It’s a HIT baby!