I just realized something.

When I write in this blog it is usually because I FEEL something and want to make a note of it.

The words that best describe the emotions I most often have when I write are:

Surprised

Wondering

Confused (one of my favorite emotions!  It means I've got something to learn right in front of me!)

Joy

Interested

Curious

Perplexed

Elated

Amused

A lot of people have read this blog.  A few people have commented on it.  Some of those people have commented on the blog itself, many have just sent e-mail.

Sometimes those comments are along the lines of "Why do you let this bother you?"

They read me as:

Annoyed

Bitter

Angry

Crabby...

Well...you know.

So, I just REALIZED this.  My emotions are not coming through.  Some of you get that I'm worked up...but you attribute the worked-up-ed-ness as negativity.

I'd just like to say for the record that I am a student of the universe.  Not, perhaps a particularly apt one, and maybe one prone to some flights of fancy once in a while (I do love me my Scifi)...but EVERYTHING and ANYTHING will seize my attention and focus...no matter how trivial it may seem to you, I can find it fascinating.

I might think about the obnoxious behaviour of someone days later, and people say "just let it go"  because they think I am still stinging from ill treatment.

In fact, I am still just trying to figure out what happened, trying to fit it into my world-order...

...understand it.

I can continue to worry an idea long after the life has left it for most people.

Like Eyore playing with the burst balloon and the empty honey-pot.

It might cut for some a gloomy figure...but trust me:  I'm perfectly happy.  Don't worry about me.