I’ve recently been given cause to think about something I’ve learned over the years. I have come to call it “The three but rule”.

     Let me explain.

     In any given situation, there is a decision-maker.  Whether it be in a family, work, school, situation or whatever.  Sometimes the decision maker is one person, sometimes it’s a multi-person team, or sometimes it’s a Democratic process…but whatever the form…there is a certain process whereby decisions get made for multiple people.

     And sometimes the people the decisions are made for don’t like the decisions, and they want to express their objections.

     A good decision-maker will give them a reasonable opportunity to do so.  For instance, a salesman might not like having to wear a suit.  So he might say to the person who made the suit rule;

     “But, I sell farm equipment.  Farmers see a suit coming and they lose all respect for the person.  They think of them as a city-slicker who has no idea what farmers need.  It would be better if I wore something more casual”.

     If the boss doesn’t buy it, he might go on with;

     “But suits only look good when they are clean and tidy looking.  My suit ends up looking dusty and gets animal hair on it, and I end up looking scruffier than if I was just in regular clothes that can be washed every day.”

     The boss still likes his salesmen to wear suits.

     “But I can’t afford to keep the suit clean looking.  Dry cleaning is expensive.”

     Now, in general, and with some notable exceptions that I don’t want to get into right now;

     If the boss still persists in making him wear a suit, at this point the salesman should either:

1)      Drop it and move ahead with the suit decision, making the best of it that he can.

2)       Leave this employer and find a job he can work with.

3)      Found his own equipment sales business and run it the way he wants.

     I believe in the three but rule as a general rule of thumb.  If I object to something, I try to lead with my strongest three reasons…and when they are exhausted, I try to remember to look at my other options rather than wasting my time and energy, and the time and energy of everyone around me.

     I’m trying to teach it to my children as well.  The “three but rule”.  It just makes sense.  Maybe it will catch on.