Folding, spindeling, and mutilating lauguage for fun since Aug, 2004
Friday, 27 January 2006

I promised to explain the “they’re a bit spendy but they make a GREAT sandwich” comment on the title of an earlier entry.

 

It all started, as many silly inside jokes do, with a role-playing game.

 

One of the members of our group was married.  Actually, I think that besides Rocky and I, he was the only married person in our group.  That’s where the similarity ends.  See, Rocky and I had the good sense to marry each other…fellow nerds.

 

This guy didn’t.  He married a very nice lady who was very conventional, unimaginative, and painfully, painfully normal.

 

Then, he reproduced with her, and she got really really clingy.  Now don’t get me wrong, this guy was pretty thrilled with having a baby.  He stayed home a lot more and he doted on his child…but she wanted more…and our once-a-month role playing games were just too much time for them to be apart…so she started coming to the games and sitting in the corner knitting and watching the baby while we played.  That way, she could stand up and declare that it was time to leave when his time expired.  Not that I blame her.  It’s a hormone thing.  We women have babies, and we nest.  And we expect our partners to nest with us, and we turn psycho if they don’t.  It’s just part of the whole biology thing.  I’m not saying this to criticize her…just to set up the story.

 

I still remember the first time she came to the house during a game.  Will answered the door.  Will was, at the time, a tall, lean, wolfish-looking guy with long hair, a pierced ear, and a grin that made you absolutely certain he was going to go for your neck.  If Cary Elweys hadn’t already scooped the role, he would have been perfect for the part of the Dread Pirate Roberts.

 

The little wife stood on the step looking at Will with wide, alarmed eyes, clutching her baby to her.

 

Will smiled his most charming smile, “Oh don’t worry,” he crooned, “I’m only a rapist on off Tuesdays.”

 

Worlds Collide.

 

Well, shortly after that, she became aware of the fact that one of our members (Odin) was a Pagan…also known as a “witch”.  So little miss rural Lutheran chick is swimming well out of her pool of experience now.  To be fair to her, she soldiered bravely on.

 

So one day we’re having a game, and she’s there with the baby.  We’ve made a munchie run to a local sub shop we all like for lunch, and are sitting around eating them and talking about how much we like these subs.  I think Odin must have gotten up to use the bathroom or get a soda or something, but by the time he comes back, the subject has turned to babies, and how much it costs to just keep them fed and in diapers…but he wasn’t aware of that.

 

So Odin says “Yep.  They’re a bit spendy, but they make a GREAT sandwich.”

 

EVERYONE stopped for a minute, and then burst out laughing uproariously.  Odin looked confused, the proud momma looked horrified and then, when she realized the mistake, gave a nervous chuckle…but things were never really the same again after that.

 

Friday, 27 January 2006 10:36:00 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Search
Archive
Links
Categories
Admin Login
Sign In
Blogroll
Themes
Pick a theme: