I’ve had a couple people ask why I haven’t weighed in on Judge Roberts for the Supreme Court.

     Mostly, I haven’t said anything, because I know NOTHING about him.  I’ve gotten a few letters from radical leftist organizations assuring me that he’s a corporate shill bent on over-turning Roe V. Wade, who’ll make it impossible for anything but multi-national corporations to exist on this earth - at least when he’s not off clubbing baby seals to death - and they’re probably right.  But I don’t know that.  I’ve never heard of him.

     That’s probably because I don’t pay any attention to the judges and lawyer's names when I read about cases…should probably change that…nasty habit.

     Anyway, I’m working my way through the New York Times article about him and I have learned that he’s nice, and down to earth, and erudite, driven.  OK, big deal, so are half the people I hang out with.   I wouldn’t put any of THEM on the Supreme court.  Well, maybe Val.  She’s a lawyer, anyway.  And pretty effing wise too.  And maybe SiFu.  I mean, he’s religious and a conservative, and a corporate lawyer…but he’s also fair.  I don’t know, though.  I’d want to hear his thoughts on Roe V. Wade first.  Oh yeah.  You can’t ask about it.  It’s “partisan”.  Crap.

     Maybe if I progress further through the article about Roberts, I’ll learn something that will stand out.  You know, separate him from the crowd.  Oh, here we go:

     “The school yearbook from 1972, his junior year, shows he played Peppermint Patty in the production of ‘You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown.’”

     Now THAT’S useful.  It tells of a man secure in his masculinity, whose not affected by social pressure.  A man that can stand up in front of an audience and really sell himself as a baseball-lovin’ bull dyke.

     Oh wait.  THAT’S not a qualification for the Supreme Court either.  Oh bugger.

     OK…smart but not nerdy, “off the charts”…got along with everyone, worked on the floor of the steel mill even though his dad was an executive, conservative but not political, hardworking, did we mention smart?  And conservative, but not political.  And old fashioned conservative…not the new-fangled kind.

     Huh.  Even his conservativism is conservative…

     OK, six pages, and I know that he’s nice, brilliant, driven, nice, brilliant, conservative, nice, brilliant, a “regular joe”, nice and religious and brilliant…and everybody loves that old gallute. 

     Please. I learned all this on CNN yesterday.  Since when can the New York Times not do a better job than CNN?  Actually, I leanrned MORE from CNN.  I learned that his son, Jack, is just as much of a muppet as my kids were at four.

     Really, either the New York Times has completely dropped the ball as a muck-raking liberal torch-bearer of truth, or we should just confirm the guy, give him a big kiss, and put him in charge of coaching a baseball team full of big, round-headed losers in his spare time.

     I still can’t decide for sure, but I suspect that the Dems should save their tiny nest-egg of political coin for the next nominee…just in case.