Folding, spindeling, and mutilating lauguage for fun since Aug, 2004
Monday, 14 April 2008


I'm still adjusting to it being spring, with the snow melted and all that.  Now I can ride my bike to the gym, or run if I wish.  Today I rode my bike, as I had already been out for a long walk with the dog.

So I arrived a the gym and my work-out went really smoothly.  I was able to put a lot of explosive power into each lift, and really get the muscles burning.  Sometimes I arrive with a sort of lackluster energy level, and can't really shake it.  Not today.  The muscles were really happy to work, and the burn felt GOOD!  In fact, I was completely wrecked by the time I finished my stretches.  I was a big pile of goo, ready to go out and get in my car and drive home for a soak and additional stretching in the neighbor's hot-tub (whish we have a standing invitation to use any time we want to, as it is out-of-doors and they're really nice people).

Yep, I'd managed to put everything I had into my work-out, and I felt really good about it.  I hadn't held anything back...

...and then I opened the locker and saw the bike helmet there.


It was only a mile-and-a-half home, and surprisingly,even though I thought I had nothing left...I made it back.



"I juggle my family" (ten brownie points the the person who gets that referance.  Hint: it is said with a crap Russian accent)

Two of my favorite machines are the hip abductor and hip adductor machines.  I like to work on explosive power on these machines, keeping the weight down somewhat, and just working on maintaining a fast and powerful, but controlled contraction through the full range of motion.  I've found that this has really helped those muscles relax later, when I stretch them, and has helped my flexibility as well as the speed of my kicks.  These muscles take a lot of abuse in the martial arts, and isolating them for a little intense, focused work makes them feel really good.

I do 145 lbs on each machine  (these machines work both legs at the same time, so it isn't as much as it sounds).

Anyway, I got on the hip abductor the other day, and the weight was set to ninety lbs.  I didn't think anything of it, there are a lot of little old ladies at the gym that time of day, and tiny little trophy wives.  They use the weight machines, but can't lift very much weight (I routinely find the bench press at 50 lbs).

I rapped off my first set of twenty, and then paused before doing the second set, and realized that the lady on the hip adductor machine next to me was openly staring at me.

I wondered for a minute if there was a green, slobbering space monster behind me or something, but then I realized that the lady had the machine set to 90 LBS.  I smiled.  She smiled back uncertainly, and then began painfully struggling through another set.

I blew through my second set, and went on to the glute machine to wait for her to be done with the one she was on.

The moral of the story is, apparently, I am very scary to suburban housewives.


"Dirty old men...kind of".

There's this little old lady that I see at the gym sometimes.  I'll call her "Carmen".  She's in her late '60's and she's just the cutest thing.  she wears a pink Nike track suit, and she works out everyday at about the same time.  I always enjoy seeing her there, because she's friendly, but I must admit that I get some entertainment at her expense sometimes.

I'm not proud of it, but I think you'll forgive me when I tell you why.

Carmen has replaced much of the subcutaneous fat that we all have when we are younger with a nice layer of muscle.  She does a lot of shaping and toning exercises, so that her posture and shape is that of a much younger woman...

...and hence the humor

You will see her working out, and every once in a while you will see an older man here or there who has not encountered Carmen yet, and he will be checking out her butt.

Then, he suddenly realizes that he is checking out the butt of a woman he must imagine is decades younger than himself, and he looks chagrined.  Then, he gets a look a Carmen's face and realizes that under that dyed red hair is the face of someone more his age, and then he gets a different expression a "I was checking THAT out?!?" expression...and then he realizes that the old lady he finds so unattractive is his own age, and he gets another facial expression, which is best described as deflated.


Monday, 14 April 2008 14:32:28 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  | #
Admin Login
Sign In
Pick a theme: