Folding, spindeling, and mutilating lauguage for fun since Aug, 2004
Thursday, 31 March 2005

     We should start a new country.  We could call it “Intellectualeliteactvistjudgefatnaziland”.  We could have a huge statue in the primary port of our land.  She would be a huge copper edifice, with a mortarboard crown, and holding a law book in one hand and wielding a huge consumer label in another.  Under her feet would be the broken bodies of monsters representing Corporate Globalism (I’d vote for Cthulu to represent this), Nation-building (just pick your favorite former Halliburton CEO), and Privatization of Community Resources (one of the goblins from the Harry Potter bank would work nicely).

     We would have the best educated workforce in the world, whether you are talking about clinical technicians, electricians, CEO’s or Engineers or doctors.  People would be petitioning from all over the world to come and enjoy our clean air and water, and eat food that they know exactly what is in/on it.  They would also want to come here on vacation because frankly, everyone here would be as hot as their genetics allows for.  Cheap community gyms, health education not controlled by food corporations, subsidized health care, and knowing exactly what’s in your food would take care of that.  We’d have a 40 hour work week to make sure that people had time to go to the gym and work out, too.  (Seriously, if you have a job, ask yourself when was the last time you worked a mere 40 hour week?)

     Sure, there would be a lot of taxes, but think of all the money you would save if you could drink the tap water.  Wages wouldn’t really be that high, and our trade deficit would be non-existent.   After all, the Intellectual elite make their own fun, and don’t buy into the whole keep-up-with the joneses thing.  We’d have wonderful community activities.  Open air rock concerts in the parks, block parties, a community orchestra and theater groups to enjoy...preferred by most of our citizens to the  T.V. shows centered around promoting a culture of rampant consumerism.  Who needs that much money if you don’t have to buy bottled water, if you can take a bus or train anywhere you want to go rather than pay $2.50 a gallon for gas…and if a functional, durable, attractive non-name brand jacket can last you for thirty years rather than having to by a new one every two or so because the colors on the one you have aren’t “cool” anymore?

     OK, some wages would be higher, but others would be a lot lower…and if you are the CEO of a company, and your company cooks the books and prolongs/magnifies a financial catastrophe that endangers our country, be prepared to be tried for treason.  Oh don’t worry, we won’t shoot you.  We don’t have the death penalty.  You just get to go to the same prison as everyone else.  It’s not as bad as you think.  You see, without the artificially created illegal drug counter-culture, our prisons aren’t over-crowded.  Our corrections personnel are very well-trained (and undergo extensive psychological screening), and the truly dangerous sex criminals who might want to make you their “bitch” are able to be closely supervised in isolated cells.  Mentally ill inmates are given full psychological treatment and medications.  The ones who need to be in mental hospitals, are.

     And hey, even if you can’t use predatory pricing, predatory lending, “creative” accounting practices, or price-gouging to artificially inflate your bottom line, well, hey, at least you make 50 times as much as your average employee.

     Oh…you’re used to making 400 times your average employee?  Huh.  Sorry.  Did I mention that you can drink the tap water and breath the air?  And you get to send your kids to school for free.  You can look, but you won’t find a private school that’s better than our public ones.  Sorry, no boarding option…you’re going to have to live with the little rug rats.

Thursday, 31 March 2005 07:32:22 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [5] |  | #
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