My kids introduced me to this concept called “Opposite Day”.  Apparently, you can declare it to be “opposite day” and then say any mean, horrible untrue thing you want about someone, and they have to take it as a compliment.

This seems to be the “advanced version” of the “just kidding” game where you say something mean or horrible or untrue about someone and then say “just kidding” and they aren’t supposed to take it amiss, or “no offense, but…”  Which is the same thing, only you say “no offense” before you say the mean, horrible, untrue thing so people know ahead of time that something bad is coming and they have to take it or be a spoilsport.

Evidently, there are some people for whom, every day is “opposite day”.  They will say and do what they want, interpret things as they want, and you are responsible for the results of how their brain works…no matter what their words and actions are or how many people interpret things as you do and tell them they are wrong.  They make up a set of rules inside their heads, and try to impose them on the outside world, and they think that you have to accept those rules and play by them.  They think the whole world should accept those rules and play by them, and react badly and destructively when it doesn’t.

If they do something that hurts you, and you tell them it hurts you , and they don’t think it should have hurt you…it didn’t.  You hurt yourself.

If they say something about you that is untrue and causes other people to think bad untrue things about you, it doesn’t count as a lie, because they don’t see it that way, and if it bothers you then you care too much about what people think of you.

I used to try to understand and respect their world-view…I tried parsing everything they said or did through the “opposite day” filter.  I tried explaining their “quirks and eccentricities” and explaining them to others so the other people would understand that “You just have to understand where they’re coming from”.  I made a LOT of excuses for these people.

It made my life a lot more complicated and drama-filled than it needed to be.  The fact of the matter is that these people are anti-social and can’t take responsibility for their own actions.  They don’t understand people as social creatures, and as a result they are emotional and social wrecking balls moving from one interpersonal disaster to the next.  They are persistent because they believe they are right, they are emphatic and vociferous because they feel like the world is against them and they have to constantly re-assert their view of things.  They are toxic, and the things they say and do can seem to spread a lot further than you are willing to tolerate…but engaging with them only encourages them.

When I encounter one of these people, I try to remind myself of what my wise friend Saveau says in these situations:  “Walk Away”.

If only they were easier to ignore.