My friend and Kung Fu brother, Jim Horn (not to be confused with the Washington Senator or the Sax Player) was an election judge.  I have no idea which end of the political spectrum he falls on, and you can’t really tell from this…but he is a truly great guy.  Anyway, he wrote this about his experience, and I thought it was funny.

About a month ago I did a 17-hour gig as an Election Judge in my Minnesota suburb. With that in mind (drum roll please...)

My Top 10 thoughts from being an election judge:

(10) Dick Cheney and Jesse Ventura were not running for 'Soil & Conservation District 5' commissioner. Maybe they would have appreciated the job security, but if you write them in for these races, you're an idiot.

(9) John McCain and 'God's Grace on Earth' were not running for President. If you voted for them, and two of you did, you're also an idiot.

(8) 'Republican Person' is not a valid choice for City Council.  Perhaps this is okay in principle, but it doesn't work as a write-in.

(7) Asking election judges 'Which of these court judges are Democrats' will only get you a blank stare, as no one really knows anyways, and they can't tell you if they did.

(6) No, we can't tell you if your eldest son, or spouse, or father, or neighbor, or neighbor's dog came in to vote yet.

(5) All ballots that had write-in votes for every contest had the handwriting of a barely 18-year old female, and the write-ins were probably all her friends.

(4) All write-in candidates had to file with the city clerk in order to have your votes counted, so if you're the idiot in (5) that wanted to see your friends in the election results, you're s.o.l.

(3) Showing up at the polls and saying 'I just moved here' doesn't guarantee you the ability to vote, and saying you were denied a driver's license will probably get you laughed at.

(2) The precincts where voting was at the schools and churches were relatively free of any political activism. The precincts where voting was at the libraries weren't.

... and the number one thought from being an election judge...

(1) Voting fraud in a well-to-do suburb is tough to pull off, as there's a whole lot of people that know each other, some of them are election judges, half belong to the other party, and they can all challenge YOU.

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An original (honest) list for your amusement...
-Jim Horn