In case anyone is wondering where I’ve been for the last week, I was in International Falls with the family.  There was a music festival thing there, with string players from several different states/provinces of the U.S. and Canada.

Grasshopper and I had a great time playing the music.  Grasshopper enjoyed playing the theme from Superman the most, I think.

We rehearsed and practiced daily and spent the rest of the time swimming, biking, canoeing and fishing.

Oh yeah, and hanging out with my parents, my sister, and my nephew.

That is always a mixed bag of experience.  My dad likes to push people’s buttons.  My mom frequently says things that are subtly critical without being directly so.  My sister often takes things personally that just weren’t meant to be.  I tend to see all sides of the situation and feel responsible for fixing everything and making everyone get along.

So my dad will do something that he knows drives my mom crazy.  My mom will make some generally judgmental statement about “people who do such-and-such”, which my sister takes to actually be a comment critical of her, and so she snaps at my mother, who takes her to task for being so hyper-sensitive…

…which is dad’s cue to pop in with a well-placed comment that is guaranteed to set someone off, which gets everyone sniping anew.

Eventually, my sister will storm out and take a walk and smoke until she is calmed down.  While she’s gone, my mom makes comments about how my sister is way too sensitive and high strung, and is unreasonable in taking everything too personally.  If I stay there, I can hear my mom’s comments.  If I walk with my sister, I can hear her talk about how mom is so relentlessly critical, and how when we were kids, we could never do anything right.

They are both right, and they are both wrong.  At any point, each of them has the ability to just say “No, I’m not going to say/do those things that cause me to hurt the other person and start this whole mess.”  But they don’t.

Meanwhile my stomach churns and I clamp down a little harder on my jaw and reflect on why exactly it was I left home early.  (Although I would like to pretend I don’t fall into old patterns, don’t be fooled.  But it IS my blog, and I don’t have to reveal my petty, Pavlovian-reaction co-dependant behaviors if I don’t want to.  So Nyah.)

I like it when we have our instruments out and just play.  Grasshopper was a sunny delight at rehearsals, and got many compliments on his playing, his attitude, and his sparkling enthusiasm.  He also got recognition for a HUGE 28 inch Northern Pike that he hooked, played to the boat and landed all on his own.  The director of the orchestra was staying in a cabin near my parent’s cabin, and saw the monster…so she announced it at rehearsal.

Adventure Boy did a great job entertaining and babysitting my nephew, and generally making sure the little kids were safe in the water.  Rocky took the kids fishing, did a lot of shuttling people and instruments around, and generally made everything easier and more fun for everyone.

I did a little running, but it was COLD.  Got down to fifty degrees.  It is weird to go running early in the morning in mid August and see your breath in the air.  Not good.  Muscles-cold-crampy-badness all around.  But hey, I got out there and did it.  And that is always good.

Then we came home and I was in a wedding.  Matron of honor for my friends Falina and Aaron.  It was a super sweet ceremony at William O'Brian State Park.  Very cool.  Perfect day.  And after seeing the family interactions there, I didn't feel quite so bad about my own family.  We all got 'em, we all love 'em, and we all gotta get a certain distance from 'em in order to be our best selves...but for better or for worse, we wouldn't be who we are without 'em.