Anomalous Data - Really?

Saturday, January 12, 2008

OK, I went and read the Strib article. (here it is)

And my first reaction is this:

Are you KIDDING ME?

These kids are up in arms over violating terms that they agreed to...and protesting punishments that they agreed to.

Plus, hey, I went to a school where almost everyone carried a pocket knife, and it wasn't that unusual for kids to be seen with "pocket knives" that could be used to fielddress a deer.

To give you some perspective, a former class-mate was in trouble a while ago because, as the principal of a rural school, he thought nothing of firing a shotgun on school property to dispatch a couple of ferrel kittens in a mercy-killing. It litereally didn't occure to him that in this day-and-age, it might cause a rukus.

It was not unusual to see pick-up trucks parked in the student parking lot with a rack full of guns in the back window. Fighting in school was not taken very seriously, and I had a target in my locker for a while, where I would blow off steam by throwing Shurikin into the target when there was not a lot of traffic in the halls.

But everyone knew, if they caught you drinking, it would result in harsh disciplinary action. People got kicked off teams and out of clubs, etc. It was just something that happened, and not just drinking. SMOKING could get you disciplinary action.

The student conduct code was quite specific on those things.

To be sure, the administration didn't try too hard, and pretty much everybody did those things anyway...but you had to make sure that you were not caught, because if you were there would be consequences.

I can't believe that anyone is asking for a pass on this.

And given the highly conservative demographic of this area, I'm really surprised. I thought Bush-lovin' Republicans were supposed to be all for the morals and ethics and law-and-order.

But I guess not when it's their kids.

Saturday, January 12, 2008 1:59:16 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [10] | Whaaaaa??

Monday, January 14, 2008 11:06:20 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

If there's good proof of them violating school rules, then they shouldn't be surprised at the consequences regardless of how the information was collected.

Besides, if they learn not to do dumb things and then brag about it, then it's a double good thing.

dracut

Monday, January 14, 2008 1:47:17 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

These kids are total morons. And if their parents are mad at the school, then they're morons, too. How can you possibly think that filming yourself performing an illegal activity is going to turn out good? These kids are lucky they aren't being charged by the legal system.

My grandmother told me way back in 1969, before cell phones and internet, that I should never, ever, write anything on paper that I would be ashamed of if it became public. Smart grandmom! Well - ditto for audio/visual recordings, blogs, etc.

dracut is right...

Mark

Monday, January 14, 2008 1:52:36 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Mark,

That IS smart...wish that someone had told ME that. 'course - I probably wouldn't have listened.

Even so, my parents would have had ZERO sympathy. In fact, they would make me think that the school was going light.

Teresa

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 9:21:56 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

So what do you do with a kid that ignores not only the house rules, but the rule of law, and has no respect for anyone but himself?

Mark

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 10:08:49 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Mark,

Without knowing the kid or the reasons for his disrespect, it's hard to say.

If he's just spoiled, I'd say an "unspoiling" experience of some kind. If he's had something shake him up and he's lashing out, I'd say more responsibility for himself, and reassurance that he has the backing of those around him to help him succeed. If he's a weak personality in the thrall of bad friends, I'd recommend removing him from their influence somehow.

Just brainstormin'. Are we talking about a particular kid, or a hypothetical?

I'd actually recommend Dracut for this discussion, as he has more recent and formal training. Saveau might have some input as well.

I will tell you that in my personal experience, just arbitrary punishment isn't always the best option open to parents. Schools don't have that much of a choice. Arbitrary is the only way they can go, or be accused of favortism.

Teresa

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 12:16:20 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Training, yes, good results unfortionately not. If (s)he decides that you don't know anything and have turned the magic *18*, we've not found a good solution. We just hope to prevent the big disasters and hope that something will be learned in hindsight.

dracut

Thursday, January 17, 2008 10:19:59 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Teresa and Dracut

"If he's a weak personality in the thrall of bad friends, I'd recommend removing him from their influence somehow."

Yup, you nailed it pretty close. He has a job, is smart as hell, gets good grades and takes school work seriously. He just can't stop himself from leaving the house in the middle of the night to go party with his friends.

I'd love to remove him from their influence, but that's pretty difficult.

Just venting... I'm just so lost on what to do. We've tried counseling, he just says what the counselors want to hear (and laughs about it later to his friends). We've tried removing items/freedoms, he straightens up enough to get some of his freedoms back and then continues on his old path. It's a terrible cycle. We've tried giving him more freedoms (with limits), he follows the rules during waking hours - but when the rest of the world is sleeping, him and his friends are at it again.

So, when counseling, restricting freedoms, removing wanted items, and relaxing of rules all have no affect, what is a parent supposed to do?

Mark

Thursday, January 17, 2008 1:36:49 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Mark,

Know of any homeless shelters in the area which are populated by homless alcoholics? Or treatment centers who need volunteers?

Some time volunteering in a place where the results of alcohol don't seem so dashing might help. Exposing him to people suffering the consequences of alcohol could help.

But if it is any consolation, I used to do similar stuff. Unfortunatly, the consequences that cause peopel to straighten up are sometimes mroe than you would like to see your kid suffer.

As a parent, I realize that we are on the edge of the age when this sort of thing becomes an issue (oldest 14). So if you come up with a good solution, let us know...and I'm rootin' for you and your son.

Teresa

Thursday, January 17, 2008 3:23:06 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Mark,

Adventure Boy's new best friend moved here when he was hanging out with the wrong crowd in his old school, so his parents moved 20 miles away to a new suburb and a new school to get him away from bad friends...
...maybe not a useful option with a kid who has a job and a car, though.

Teresa

Thursday, January 17, 2008 3:50:08 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Well, he doesn't have a car, yet - or even a license. He goes before the judge on the 31st. I'm hoping the judge sentences, among other things, the type of community service you mentioned. Meanwhile I can find such a place and try to get him started early. That's a good idea.

... boy it's been a rough week.

Mark

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