Folding, spindeling, and mutilating lauguage for fun since Aug, 2004
Tuesday, 03 January 2006

For those of you who aren't aware, I sometimes post missives from Sue on my blog.  This is one such item.  I thought you would enjoy it  - Trees

So without further ado...here's Sue.

Experienced first ever computer-induced trauma yesterday evening:

One of my Christmas gifts was the Sim Family computer game w/ every expansion pack you can get included. I should have known it would be too advanced...

Within less than 30 minutes, my first family became so unhappy with their living conditions, that their house was visited by a clown who would NOT leave. If you know me at all- you can guess I find the following to be nightmarish: Precious Moments figurines, anything people refer to as "precious" or "tender", crowds of slow-moving people who reek of fried food (hello- State Fair) and clowns. Clearly I could NOT let events continue. I exited the game without saving it, effectively ending their lives. Trust me, it was the humane thing to do.

Next family. Life was good. Nice farmhouse, good jobs, fun couple with one young boy. All was well until I had the man cook dinner. Minutes later the stove was on fire. The woman ran into the room screaming in a panic. I tried to have her put the fire out with the extinguisher, but she kept flipping out and then wouldn't fork over the entinguisher to the man. Tragically she went up in flames. The man refused to exit the house and soon was engulfed too. It was horrible. I got the boy to run out of the house, but then he kept running back in. I started freaking out too. Yelling "Oh, shit. Fire! Get out, you stupid people! Oh. No! Shit! Why won't you leave?! Get Out!!!" Panda Girl ran to my room- poised to dial 911 wondering if I had somehow set my computer on fire on something. I couldn't figure out how to stop the game. Got more & more upset thinking I was going to have to watch the little kid go up in flames. Panda Girl had to jump in and help me end the game.

Clearly I am not cut out for this Life Creation stuff. Too much pressure. Maybe I should stick to Tetris?

Tuesday, 03 January 2006 22:15:51 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] |  |  | #
Wednesday, 04 January 2006 11:08:57 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
Then, of course, there is what happened to Trey's friend with Sims 2. He created a "manly-man", outfitted him with a swinging bachelor pad, and put him in a neighborhood with lots of eligible women. The man did his chatting with the women and the like...but when he moved in another male character to be this guy's "bud" his Manly-Man walked RIGHT PASSED ALL OF THE WOMEN and started giving this other guy a tender back-rub.

By all accounts, Trey's friend let loose with a girly-scream that would rival Homer Simpson at his most terrified.

And don't even start me about creating a Sim with a "romantic" asperation. Someone over at Electronic Arts needs to learn the difference between "Romance" and "sexual addiction". Seriously, my first Sim2 Sim was a goth gal named "Galinda". I set her to be a romantic because, hey, that's me. Imagine my shock when she set out to schtup EVERYONE IN THE GAME.

Oh, and just to make people aware how screwed up the game can get, if Death visits your house a lot in Sims2, he can become a family friend. Well, sure enough, someone captured a screenshot of his sim's ambition. It was -- I kid you not -- to make whoopee (have sex) with Death.

Lovely. "How was your day, sweetie?"

"Oh, I boinked Death. You?"
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