"Real meaning of life...stuff" - Daniel Jackson
Monday, December 13, 2004

     Well, I’m here to tell you all that your going to be seeing a lot less of me over the next month or so.

     Evidently, my dear husband has gotten tired of not seeing my name in print.  He says if I don’t start sending my stuff out to be considered for rejection again, he’s going to shut off my blog access.  My guess is, he wants payback.

     See,

     I never did anything like this to him, but I have friends who don’t have to live with him who have picked up my irreverent, lighthearted attitude to his natural reticence, humility and sense of personal dignity.  Not having to live with him, they have used this lighthearted irreverence to publicly humiliate and embarrass him.

     Sue, for instance.  Sue is the lady who decided that my kids were too serious and that it wasn’t healthy.  She decided they needed to learn how to be goofy, and set out on a campaign to “goofy them up”.  Several years worth of despairing phone calls from teachers will stand as a testament to her success.

     Anyway, Rocky’s first publisher made the decision to start plastering huge honkin’ pictures of their authors on their books.  The very first book out after this decision was Rocky’s book…which caused a number of people to comment on how he must be the most self-aggrandizing ego-maniac on the planet.  These are people who have evidently not heard of Harlan Ellison (one of the finest writers on the planet, and also rumored to have an ego of epic proportions)

     This irony was not lost on Sue.

     We went to Barnes and Noble, and she said to Rocky,

     “Take me to the computer section.  I want to see your book on the shelf.”

     He reluctantly did so, where upon Sue pulled his book off the shelf, looked around and scoped out the three or four people standing in the isle, and said:

     “Oh my God!  It’s him!  It’s Rocky Lhotka, the guy who wrote this book!  Look! Wow!  It’s him! He’s standing right there!”

     And then she fled while Rocky was stuck politely fielding questions and curiosity from people who had by-and-large no real interest of knowledge of Visual Basic or business objects (the topics of his book).  If I recall correctly, one guy he ended up politely talking to for the better part of an hour was clutching The Complete Idiot’s Guide to DOS or something like that.

     Or Barb, who did several very amusing bits like walking up the stairs and doing a Kramer-esque startle-take upon seeing his picture staring at her from the spine of his book.  Then there was the time she took the book and set it up on a table, and walked around the room, saying stuff like “His eyes follow you wherever you go…creepy!”

     Anyway, suffice it to say, he wants me to put my stuff out there and get published…even if just once…I think he is living in hope that one day there will be a book out there with my name on it, and…well, let’s just say payback is a bitch.

Monday, December 13, 2004 7:15:52 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [8] | #
Monday, December 13, 2004 9:35:12 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
What, and like you don't deserve it???

Frankly, I think I agree with Sue and Barb - and Rocky. Damned straight, woman - you deserve to be published.

If I have to start my own publishing business just to get you and Mr. Voodoo Vinnie out of the "languishing author" biz, well, then demn-it.....

OK....who stole my morning coffee? I can't plan to take over the world without morning coffee!
Monday, December 13, 2004 11:53:25 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
Cat,

You get him through the publishin process with Elanore, Marcus, Voodoo Vinnie, and Unicycle Bob and I will personally purchase a dozen copies and distribute them to random people just 'cause.

Then I'll get a couple copies for myself, because damn, that is some good shit he's writing there.

Also, respect, woman. Keeping that man firmly teathered to consentual reality is a full-time job...as demonstrated by the Elanore-in-wonderland stuff he's been bringin to group.

Ya know, some people had to do LOTS of opium to come up with the stuff that just pours out of his head naturally...

Trees

Trees
kemaris
Monday, December 13, 2004 12:57:40 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
I agree that both you and, er, What's His Name need to get published and right quick. How can I make a living off being invited to dinner parties because I know famous people if I don't know any famous people?
The Evil Cub
Monday, December 13, 2004 9:06:04 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
Um...just because my husband will say this if I don't....

Harlan can actually be very sweet, when he's not being hounded by fans who have heard about his reputation.
Kaji
Monday, December 13, 2004 9:55:12 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
Kaji,

I believe that is the case...and I have heard it from other people...even if he DID once call me a Nazi! LOL!

:-)

I was "rangering" the line for his signing table, and he riled them all up into revolt, because I was enforcing the fire-code and keeping everyone in a single file line...so I figured he gets what he asked for...a muddled signing queue.

He was quite nice and civil to me a couple of times during that convention, taking a few minutes to exchange plesantries when he didn't need to, and probably would have rather not.

I love his stories and his essays...wether he's prickly or a peach. :-)

Trees
Kemaris
Monday, December 13, 2004 10:00:21 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
Cub,

You first, oh ye who MUST be almost ready to send of Pharoh soon...

I get dibs on rangering the queue for your signing table.

Geeze...we need to get the rest og the gang in on this blogging thing, so we can make it a total mutual-endorsement love-fest! :-)

Trees
Kemaris
Tuesday, December 14, 2004 12:11:25 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
I promise not to call you a Nazi. Although I may make references to the Cruel Tutelage of Trees.
The Evil Cub
Tuesday, December 14, 2004 12:42:22 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
Cub,

Speak not of that which you do not know...or it may seek the speaker of it's name...and find you ill prepared...


Trees
Kemaris
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