What I’ve learned about running so far.

1)      “There are more things than are dreamed of in your philosophy, Horatio.” Some of them are hip muscles that are also not dreamed of in your High School Advanced Anatomy and Physiology class.  They are small, neglected, and quick to anger.

2)      There are, indeed, effective sports bras for outrageously endowed women.  They are made from material that could be used to restrain an enraged Kleidsdale, and the cost of one would feed a family of twelve in Nigeria for several months.

3)      Having an effective sports bra when you are not used to one can really throw off you sense of rhythm.

4)      There are some extremely friendly little old men out and about on the walking/jogging trails in the middle of the day.  They are usually walking with extremely grumpy-looking little old ladies.

5)      There are people who really hate running.  I mean, really hate running.  Words will not be able to convey to you just how much, but when they find out you are training for a running race, they will try anyway.  Sometimes, their communication borders on interpretive dance.

6)      When they say to have something light and high carb. for breakfast before doing a several-mile trail run, they DO NOT mean a bran muffin and a cup of coffee.

7)      Even after you’ve done nine mile runs, it is a mistake to think of a three mile run as “easy”.  A big mistake.  Three mile runs are only easy if you approach them with the same seriousness and sense of resolve that you gave them when you started.

8)      Nesting Canadian Geese are some mean mother-fuckers.

9)      UnderArmor.  Remember that brand name.  It is the brand name of the Gods.  The Gods of the sleek, satiny, comfort of perpetual dryness and not smelling your own sweat.

10)   Choose a course through a shaded wood near water.  Run in the early morning or late evening.  It will be cooler, the view will be better, and the mosquitoes will be out in force…all of which will motivate you to KEEP RUNNING.  If it is in the spring, before the mosquitoes are out, the Canadian Geese will be nesting near the trail at the water’s edge, and THEY will provide you with motivation to KEEP RUNNING.