Anomalous Data - Attack of the Mullet Men

Thursday, April 14, 2005

I got a letter from Hong Kong today. It contains the letter to my SiFu I described a couple days ago...and another one for me. This is what it says (all grammatical errors are copied from the original):

Dear Ms. Lhotka:

We have your file and we informed all the members and SiFus to take actions against you.

You lie about Shaolin, your self-name a Shaolin Kung Fu assistant Instructor, helping a no rank person to impersonate a Shaolin Kung Fu Instructor will be dealed with.

You cannot jump, cannot punch, cannot kick and you are over weight and have chronic disease. How can you claim you are a Kung Fu instructor? You are a joke. You are a cancer of any martial art.

Seriously, who do these people think they are? I can't jump? I can jump. I would like to be able to jump higher...but hey, wouldn't we all like to? I can kick, and I have half a dozen people who will swear on a stack of Bibles that when I kick or punch someone, they stay kicked and punched.

Overweight? Yeah. It's true. Size 14 isn't exactly svelt. I weigh more than I should...but really. If they want to talk about weight they should take a good hard look at mullet-man's kid. That boy is seriously corn-fed.

Besides, if you can run three miles in half an hour, do fifty push-ups, hundreds of sit-ups and crunches in a matter of minutes and do a tornado kick I don't think anyone should be able to talk to you about your weight.

Chronic disease? I assume they are talking about my athsma and hypotyroidism. Both are under control. Whatever.

They are pathetic. Threatening women and children and calling people names when they don't have the balls to put their own names on the letters.

Like I'm worried.

Anyway...thought some people might be interested in the continuing saga.

Thursday, April 14, 2005 3:02:17 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [8] | Kung Fu/Running/Fitness

Thursday, April 14, 2005 8:28:09 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Kinda reminds me of a certain ex-roommate, only with bad grammar.

Sheesh.

Rick

Thursday, April 14, 2005 10:24:37 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Hey yeah....come to think of it, HE called me "overweight" too.

:-)

Trees

kemaris

Friday, April 15, 2005 5:11:16 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

I wonder if the Captain reads your blog...

Rick

Friday, April 15, 2005 5:32:43 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

I don't think so. I think the "Captain" is lazy, selfish and ignorant. He owns a FLEET of luxury and sports vehicles. I doubt very much if he has bothered to lift a finger to do anything besides pick up the phone and complain to some of his Kung Fu "brothers" that there is an upstart ex-student cutting into his territory and low-balling him on price while exceeding him in quality.

Bunny boy is an orange belt, and had learned nearly all of form 3. One of bunny Boy's friends trains with the Captain, and is a GREEN BELT (next highest rank) and has just finished form one.

That means that the captain has been giving this kid promotional tests (and collecting test fees) for five terms and has managed to only teach this child what one of my teacher's child students learns in two terms. So the parents who send their kids to the captains school pay a PREMIUM for each and every skill their child aquires.

My teacher's standards are higher, his classes are more exhausting, his tests are more difficult. He pushes students more, while being more supportive of them personally and professionally. I trained with both these guys, and there's a reason I picked the teacher I did.

Wouldn't it be cool if he DID read my blog...because then if I said "You are a coward, a fool ,and a liar" He would hear it. Also, if I said "I'm not afraid of you. I have faced far worse than you. The cheerleaders in my High School were scarier than you." He would hear that too.

kemaris

Friday, April 15, 2005 3:48:37 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Okay, it's pretty clear this guy and his cronies have forfitted their right to continue to claim membership in the human race. It would be terribly sad if someone were to revoke their membership.

The Evil Cub

Friday, April 15, 2005 8:16:31 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

I must admit, the letters themselves are humorous. They're barely one step removed from 'Monty Python' -

"I wave my private parts at your aunties, you many faced dishonest person! You are overweight and have chronic disease, you smelly wiper of other people's bottoms! You are a cancer of any martial art, your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries! You are a joke! Now, go away, or I will taunt you a second time!"

Captain Mullet is the joke.

Fucktard.

Rick

Friday, April 15, 2005 9:58:05 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Ah fer cripes sake Theresa, get over yourself. Face it already. Yer just a fat, middle aged housewife who is playing at being a martial artists in an obvious and rather pathetic attempt to compensate for the fact that you are a "home-maker" (no yer not. CARPENTERS are home-makers. Yer a HOUSEWIFE. Get used to it) because you can't hack it any kind of real job. Now quit whining and get in the kitchen where you belong and make yer menfolk some food like a good girl.

Bob Wagner

Friday, April 15, 2005 10:01:44 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

A) Yes my darling, when the guys on the UFC program stop pounding each other and look out of your TV set and wince in sympathy at what you're doing to me I'll remember this little written request for premature euthanasia

B)If you beleive ONE FUCKING WORD of the previous post from me you are even more mentaly challenged than the Mullet Brigade. And rumor has it, Timmy from South Park, tracked at least one of them down and demonstrated that he had mastered a new word. That word? "Retard!"

C)Try to remember that I love you deeply and please dont maim me up too badly. Em still hasnt gotten preggers by me yet.

Bob Wagner

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