Folding, spindeling, and mutilating lauguage for fun since Aug, 2004
Thursday, 04 November 2004

I found the following Anomalous Datum tacked to a neighborhood message board outside my local drugstore, printed on eyeball-searing pink business cards:


Does your OB/GYN have a hidden Agenda?


If your OB/GYN is a teaching doctor and you have gynecological surgery, your pelvis may be used as their classroom exhibit! Teams of medical students line-up to practice pelvic exams on anesthetized gynecological surgery patients just prior to their surgeries.  Depending on the procedure, a medical student or resident may actually perform your surgery as well, under the watchful guise of your doctor.


There are medical students on OB/GYN rotations in almost every hospital in the Mpls/St.Paul area!  To find out if you have been victimized, look in your medical file at the INTEROPERATIVE REPORT.  The team may or may not be listed, but the student or resident who may have performed your procedure will be listed as assistants.  To prevent these assistants from helping themselves, INSIST that an advocate of your choice be present prior and during your procedure.  Remember, you are the consumer!


So…WTF is up with this?


What possible purpose could this sort of bizarre…uh…allegation…have?  I mean, someone suggested that maybe it was trial lawyers trying to drum up business…but they use T.V. and newspaper ads...and they usually don't sound like complete dumb-asses.  I would hope that any trial lawyer worth his salt would know the correct usage of the word “guise”…plus you would think that there would be SOME contact information on the card.


Lesseee...there was some other reason why it couldn't be trial lawyers....oh yeah...even the most gifted of trial lawyers can't win with a case that's completely made up.


First off, hot button topic, addressing women regarding their pink parts, and the vulnerability that they already feel when “on the table”…almost guaranteed to turn off the brain.


A resident (in other words, a doctor) might actually perform the procedure instead of your doctor…if your doctor is a teaching doctor…well…duh.  While your doctor watches…well, I would certainly hope so.  Would they rather he not watch?  At least, I think that’s what the intended to convey with the misused word, “guise”.  Which actually means “the appearance of”…so they either meant to say something like “guidance”, or they meant that the resident is wearing a mask and costume to appear as your doctor, although why he would bother if you are drugged senseless is beyond me.


There are medical students on OB/GYN rotations in almost every hospital in the Mpls/St. Paul area…also…duh.


It’s got the brain ferrets going.  Who are these people?  What is their goal?  Why did they choose to print this message and stick it up on some dinky little message board in a suburban mini mall?  What is it supposed to make us do/think/feel?  Do they realize how thoroughly they have misused both language and reason?  Is it some sort of weird sociology experiment?  Do they really expect us to believe this shit?  Do they believe it? What do they hope to get out of it?


I don’t effing get it.  This took time.  This took money.  This took effort both in conception and execution…it proposes something totally ridiculous, offers no proof, no contact information, no place to go for more information, and while they took the time to think all this up…they didn’t bother to make it coherent or believeable…


…and it serves no discernable purpose other than to make…me…crazy…


Seriously, even considering the duckbilled platypus…human beings are the most bizarre creatures on the planet.  For instance, they invented   Ooahhl Maart, which is evil, yet affordable.


So, I hope you have enjoyed this little detour through the land of anomalous data points with me.  Until next time, live, laugh, enjoy life…and keep a close eye on your pelvis.  J

Thursday, 04 November 2004 16:07:10 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
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