Folding, spindeling, and mutilating lauguage for fun since Aug, 2004
Tuesday, 28 March 2006

This has been my week for talking to crazy people.  Just got off the phone with a casual acquaintance who started talking to me about his dog’s health.  Well, first he wanted to know if I knew where he could get an industrial sewing machine.


Then he was talking about how his dog was a “negative discipline dog”.  See, some dogs are “positive discipline dogs” and some are “negative discipline dogs”.  Once you know how to discipline them, you can teach them anything.


Next thing I know, he’s telling me how he is training his dog to talk.  That probably explains why his dog is neurotic as hell.


Next thing after that, he’s talking about how he saw the “higher level”, and if I ever need to know what to do, look for the “straight gait and the steep path and go forward fast and don’t stop, because they’ll pull you back.  Unless you’re not ready to die yet.”


Um.  What do you say to that?


I said “Fred*, it’s nine-thirty in the morning, and I’m sober.  I’m not prepared to have this conversation.”


Fred: “Oh, OK, but I just want you to know, it’s beautiful.  Absolutely beautiful.  Golden Spires upon golden spires.  That’s why they can’t paint it.”


Me:  “OK, good to know.”


Fred:  “Well, I gotta let you go here.  Goodby and God bless.”


Fred’s wife tells me he smokes a lot of pot.  I do believe that’s true…but he’s also insane.  But he seems to be mostly harmless as his delusions are of a light and fluffy nature, unless you’re a dog that can’t talk.  Otherwise, the most dangerous thing about him is he’s a Republican and he votes.


Sunday night I came out of a public building after an activity to find another casual acquaintance standing there waiting to talk to a mutual friend.


This guy acted like he was on speed.  He was very talkative, (for him…which means he wasn’t babbling as much as you would expect someone on speed to be talking…but there you are)  He was nervous and fidgety, shifting his weight, turning to walk away, and then walking back, hands in the pockets, hands out of the pockets, hands back in the pockets again.  Occasionally, he would turn and dash away, and then come back and talk some more. He couldn’t follow the normal flow of conversation.


He was doing everything but sweating profusely, but I suspect that had more to do with the fact that he was wearing a sweatshirt (no coat) outside after dark in Minnesota in March.


Talked to the mutual friend later.  No doubt about it.  This guy’s in a bad spot.  Hopefully, he will find his way out of it.  I wish him well.  I can’t think of any appropriate way to help him.


What’s with all the crazy people lately?  End of February, beginning of March was the Time of Sickness and Dying…looks like end of March, beginning of April is the Time of the Crazy People.  Maybe April-May will issue in the Time of Happy Puppies and Huge Lottery Winnings?


A girl can hope.



*Fred is not his real name.

Tuesday, 28 March 2006 09:52:14 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [6] |  |  | #
Tuesday, 28 March 2006 10:12:06 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
It is not yet the fundamental time of the broadening. Fear not, for the casual illeviatron caches longingly toward the rising sun. Nostril, pants frog disseminate, quality obligations tread upon the flan of corpuscular gravy.

Ia! Ia! Nostrem id colomuna est!

Or maybe not.
Tuesday, 28 March 2006 10:15:50 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
But then again, don't forget to consider that nostrils never deepen in the dampening of the moon.

Otherwise you might frighen the corpuscular widderphages.

And we all know what will happen then.

Tuesday, 28 March 2006 10:17:28 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
You know, it's sad that when otherwise sane people try to sound crazy, they just come off like an e-mail spam add for illegal oxycotton perscriptions anymore.


Tuesday, 28 March 2006 12:23:06 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
Thursday, 30 March 2006 11:25:01 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
Maybe hyperactive guy is on meth. (I just watched Oprah with James; the show was on people, usually middle-aged, using meth. Did you know that meth can make you look like a lepper over time?)
Thursday, 30 March 2006 11:50:47 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
Speed is Meth.

And can make you look like a skeletiod zombie eventually.

Bad stuff.

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