Folding, spindeling, and mutilating lauguage for fun since Aug, 2004
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Missing Children Minnesota is having their 4th annual Charity Golf Tournament.

It is a great deal of fun, and for a great cause.

If you love golf, and believe in the mission of Missing Children Minnesota, this is the perfect event for you!

You can follow this link to a PDF of the even flier, and print out the registration form.  All the information you need is on the flier.

Thursday, 21 April 2011 10:49:20 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  | #
Monday, 10 May 2010

Monday, 10 May 2010 07:03:04 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] |  |  | #
Tuesday, 17 February 2009

I can just play this for my kids in the morning...


Tuesday, 17 February 2009 08:56:28 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [4] | #
Thursday, 12 February 2009
Thursday, 12 February 2009 15:54:51 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Friday, 06 February 2009

Today, Marcus (the 12-year-old formerly known as Grasshopper) and I were discussing a local Charter School.  He would like to attend it, because he wants to learn Greek and Latin, and it is a Classics school.  I have to check into it to see if they offer Latin and Greek.

Anyway, I said that he could try to get into it, but pointed out that they have a uniform requirement, and that the school is very ridgidly administered.  He would have to learn to fit a very narrow mold.

He thought he could do that.  Then, I pointed out that the more free-wheeling style of the mainstream public schools in the district forces kids to take more personal responsibility, and that there is something to be said for learning to cope with chaos.  Tim (the 15-year-old) has become remarkably organized, and adept at dealing with problems on his own, and pursueing solutions to his difficulties on his own, for instance.

Marcus replied "Mom, I think that academics are more important right now.  I'm sure that I will encounter chaos when I am older, and I can learn to deal with it then."

My jaw dropped.  It just seemed like a funny thing for a 12-year-old to say.

Friday, 06 February 2009 07:43:08 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] |  | #
Friday, 30 January 2009

From now on, my blog will be just made up of doofy videos that Rocky makes me watch...


Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

...well, until the republicans do something that bothers me.  :-)

Friday, 30 January 2009 17:05:15 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [7] |  |  | #
Sunday, 21 December 2008

It's a good thing.

Rocky was telling me a story about a conversation he was in the other day.

A guy was talking about how we are in this financial mess because banks were forced by federal regulation to give out tons and tons of loans to people who didn't deserve it.

Rocky made many points counter to this, but I think the best one was pointing out that when businesses are "forced" to do something, they do it grudgingly.  They minimize it, and do as little of it as possible. 

And in reality, we have spent the last several years enduring ad after ad after ad on TV, in newspapers, on the internet, BEGGING people with bad credit to take out loans with this company or that.  People with bad credit were heavily lobbied to re-finance loans, and roll their other bad debt into their new loans on their houses.

I know some of these people.  Some of them owe us money that will never be returned, as the houses are gone and they still have massive debt to people with more power than we have, and more ruthlessness when it comes to getting it back.

I occasionally would complain about how these predatory lenders were sleazy scum-bags who should be against the law.

Naturally, I was sometimes denounced as a commie being against innocent capitalists just wanting to make an honest buck.

Anyway, Rocky had a pleasant, passing conversation with this guy, and seemed to have at least made some impression on him.

But later, in another conversation involving some of the same people, a new player came into the mix.  A guy who had worked for one of these companies.

"Well, you can blame me at least a little bit for this whole mess.  I used to work for one of these companies, and they told us to write to the government and tell them that they needed to deregulate us so we could do these loans." (Obviously, this is an approximation of what I remember Rocky saying he remembered the guy saying...not a real quote.)

The first guy got a stunned look on his face, like the rug had been pulled out from under him.

And, as much fun as it might be to smugly leave it there with a sense of superiority...

...none of us have all the answers all of the time.  Sometimes we need a reality check.  The best people recognize them when they see them and learn from them.  I got the feeling that Rocky thought this guy was that sort of people.


Sunday, 21 December 2008 22:38:37 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [5] |  |  | #
Tuesday, 25 November 2008

So I was over a Pharyngula reading a very entertaining piece that handed Deepak Chopra, the rap master of woo, his butt.  (again)

I was reading the comments and enjoying the science-nerd pile-on when suddenly THIS lept out at me:

"Hmmm... Now I know where the really bad, sciency sounding dialog for the character Mohindar Suresh in Heroes comes from."

Dan misses some very important points in this comment:


1) Mohinder Suresh is smokin' hot (see exhibit "A"), and Deepak Chopra is NOT (see exhibit "B").


2)  Mohinder Suresh is a fictional character in a story that specifically suspends the laws of science so that the world can work very differently than it actually does...and to that end there is a need to supply enough technobabble to drum you into a state we call "suspension of disbelief"...whereas Deepak Copra is a real person that is creating a story that specifically suspends the laws of science so that the world can work very differently than it actually does, and to that end there is a need to supply enough technobabble to drum you into a state we call "suspension of disbelief". This will cause you to pay lots of money for him to tell you his pretty pretty story about how you can live forever and be healthy the whole time.

3)Until recently, Mohinder Suresh was a character of unfailing moral fortitude selflessly working to redeem his father's life-work, discover the truth, and benefit all of humanity...and Deepak Chopra writes lots and lots of stuff about what he thinks science doesn't know, and provides PZ Myers with many, many opportunities to point out that just because Mr. Chopra doesn't know how something happens, that doesn't mean that SCIENCE doesn't know how it happens.


4)  Mohinder Suresh's use of eyeliner is organic, subtle, and alluring.  Deepak Chopra's use of eyeliner is heavy, harsh and scary.


5) So, in summation:  LEAVE MOHINDER ALONE!  Thank you, and I rest my case.


Exhibit "A":

(Image from here)

Exhibit "B":

(image from this site)

Tuesday, 25 November 2008 06:19:17 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [10] |  |  |  |  |  |  | #
Thursday, 23 October 2008

Dump Bachmann is in overdrive.

Take a look at this article detailing her "close associations" with unsavory radical leftists from the '60's.


The first one was part of a group called “O” which apparently took over a warehouse with an army of thugs armed with pipes, firebombed a truck, and reportedly had a large weapons cache in Minneapolis.  Then he worked closely with Bachmann trying to promote PRT (Personal Rapid Transit) and then went to prison for taking bribes as a Minneapolis City Councilman.


I didn't fact check it, but I’m sure someone will.  In the mean-time, just treat it like entertainment.  And really, read the whole thing because the story of the second "Radical" is hilarious. (Hint:  It's Norm Coleman and evidentally he used to smoke a LOT of pot)


Ya know, I’m re-thinking my position.  I now think Bachmann is right.  Perhaps we SHOULD do an exhaustive search into the histories and associations of our nation’s leadership.  Not to ferret out any “un-American” views…but just because what the country needs right now is a good, hearty belly laugh…


Thursday, 23 October 2008 21:07:54 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  |  |  | #
Monday, 20 October 2008

Operation Bagdhad Pups helps soldiers bring home dogs that they befriend during their deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Here's a story about Rachet the dog and his human.

Monday, 20 October 2008 13:56:20 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] | #
Friday, 03 October 2008

Here is something written my my team-mate Leslie to all of her sponsors and supporters.  I liked it, so I'm putting it here for you to enjoy as well.


Thank you for supporting my participation in the Breast Cancer 3-Day. It was an incredible 60-mile journey starting on Friday, September 19th. I survived the walk pretty well, walking the entire 60+ miles. My feet were sore, though!

After the Opening Ceremonies on Day 1, we left the State Fair grounds, made our way through St. Paul’s midway area, into downtown, along Shepard Road, and up the bluff to Swede Hollow. We went through Indian Mounds Park to the Bruce Vento Trail, around Lake Phalen, and then continued along the trail to our campsite at Maplewood’s Harvest Park. After 21.5 miles, we arrived at the campsite, put up our pink tents (imagine hundreds of little pink tents set up in rows), had dinner and a hot shower before lights out at 9:00 p.m. (very possibly the BEST hot shower I have ever had in my entire life!).

On Day 2, we left the campsite at 7:30 a.m., heading north and west through Vadnais Heights, Shoreview and Roseville. Along the way, we saw many beautiful parks and lakes, and walked on the Gateway and Bruce Vento trails back to our campsite in Maplewood. It was a grueling 22.7 miles that day, the hardest day for me. A foot massage in camp made my feet feel much better, and a good night’s sleep got me ready for the third and final day.

On Day 3, we walked west and south out of Maplewood and then swung around into St. Paul, walking through beautiful Battle Creek Park, Indian Mounds Park again and into Downtown, ending at the Capital after 17.3 miles of walking. The Closing Ceremony was a moving tribute to cancer victims, survivors, walkers, and the volunteer crew who supported the event.

There were many memorable moments along the way:

In St. Paul’s Midway area, being cheered on by a pre-school class and their teachers, one of whom had her head covered and was very clearly going through chemotherapy.
The words of a young mother, going through breast cancer treatment for a second time (and told by her doctors that she would probably die from it this time), about why she walks – for her daughters, ages 5 and 12.
The many family and friends of Breast Cancer victims, and the Breast Cancer survivors, who cheered us on along the way and offered water, candy, snacks, even Kleenex and sunscreen – anything to make the walk a little bit easier. “Thank you for walking for me (or for my mother, my grandmother, my daughter, and so on) was often heard as we slapped hands with supporters.
The supporters who cheered us along at multiple stops along the way. One family who had lost a wife/sister/mother a few years ago brought her couch out to the walk, letting walkers rest in her couch, the same couch that she rested in while going through breast cancer treatment. The “traveling couch” would show up many times a day in the most unlikely places, carted around by her family in an old van. Others created informal cheering stations, such as the “Boogie for a Cure” group (lots of loud dance music).
The support of the amazing volunteer crew that supported the 3000+ walkers in camp, at pit stops and lunch, and along the route.
The “characters” that came out to cheer us on. Many dressed up in pink or in goofy costumes, decorated their cars, carried signs, and brought music or noise makers. Our favorite was “Mullet Pig,” a man who wore a pink pig face with a sparkly tiara, and a hot pink mullet hair piece. He was a volunteer safety crew member and so helped us cross busy intersections, and while waiting for traffic lights to turn would often entertain us with acrobatics and other antics. We later found out that his mother is a Breast Cancer survivor and he has lost both his grandmother and aunt to Breast Cancer. He comes out every year to support the walk.
The response to our team name and slogan, which we wore on matching gray and pink shirts: “Oh dear God, my feet, my feet, my feet….. My Beautiful Feat!” People loved the sentiment and the focus on a DIFFERENT body part (you can guess which one many team names focused on!).

I could go on forever, but most of all I want to thank you for supporting this great cause. Because of your generosity, and the support of all of my donors, I raised $2200 to help end breast cancer. There were over 3000 walkers, and the event raised a total of $7.3 Million! For more information about the 3-Day and Susan G. Komen for the Cure, visit

Thank you so much for making this possible.

Warmest Regards,


Friday, 03 October 2008 15:09:10 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Wednesday, 24 September 2008

A little more about the walk…

At the closing ceremony, the MC of the event told us that the world would look a little different.  We wouldn’t have people cheering us and honking and waving at every intersection, for one thing.

And she’s right…but it’s funny…I just have this feeling that they MIGHT, or that I just might cheer THEM if I just knew their story.

I saw so many feats of selflessness and kindness, heard so many stories of bravery and love and perseverance, enjoyed so many demonstrations of humor and consideration, that I have to believe that it is still right there, under the surface in almost everyone, just waiting for a chance to express itself.

Every person I meet that I don’t know, might have been someone who was standing along the route cheering, a sponsor, a crewperson or a walker.  The lady behind the desk at the car dealership who handed me my license plates, for instance, or the guy who put them on my car for me.  They might have been standing out by the side-walk and handed me a bottle of water just when I needed it, or a piece of candy when my energy was flagging, or they may have been one of those Angels sent directly from God who had string cheese (salt AND protein in one delicious package).

Maybe it’s just residual endorphins, but I sort of expect to see acts of kindness, gratitude and generosity around every corner right now.

You wouldn’t believe the outpouring of community support.  Every time we crossed over a freeway, cars honked and people waved.  Cars honked at almost every intersection.  When we were walking on sidewalks, cars passed and honked.

The cheering stations were full, and there was one that was so unbelievably huge.  There were probably over a hundred people there.

We were walking along on a trail through the woods, and I was in an extremely focused moment.  It was fairly quiet, and we were somewhat behind because of Sue’s sprained ankle.  We were going up a hill just as the path turned a sharp corner, and as soon as we came in sight a loud roar started, and just kept going.

I stopped and just gaped like an idiot.  An involuntary “wow” escaped.  The people standing closest to me cheered even harder and smiled even more broadly.  People yelling, waving signs, flags, pink flamingo lawn ornaments, funny hats, it’s all a blur.  But I remember that it wasn’t until about a hundred feet down the path that I began to be aware of the pain from my blisters again.

Sometimes a cheering person would hold up their hand for a “high-five” and say things like “Thank you from my daughter, who can’t be here” or sometimes there were little signs and memorials with pictures of people who had died of breast cancer.  Their families standing around clapping and cheering and saying “thank you”.

There is a traveling couch memorial that is just wonderful.

Bald women sitting in the shade with tears in their eyes, saying “thank you for walking for me”

But all of that is just prelude to the crew.

The crew were sent from God.  One the second day, pit stop 4, it was necessary for us to walk about a block-and-a-half off of the path, attend the Pit Stop, and then walk back to the path.

You would not believe how bad that was for our psychology.  Sue sat down and said “I want ice for my ankle, but I don’t want to walk all that way and then walk back again.”

I couldn’t blame her.  I didn’t want to either, and I didn’t have a sprained ankle as an excuse.  Suddenly, a crewperson appeared, and said “I will go and get you ice, water and food.  Just don’t move.”

Sue replied “No worries, I’m not going ANYWHERE.”

“Let me help you with that”; “Let me get that for you”; “Do you need anything?”  “Are you OK?”;”Can I get you something?” ; “Everything OK here?”

That is what crew sounds like.  These people worked their ASSES off, and I’m pretty sure that at least once, I forgot to say “thank you”.

They road bikes up and down the line day after day to make sure nobody was in trouble.  They called sweep vans for the sick and injured, they monitored stoplights and directed traffic and entertained us while we waited at stoplights.

There was a guy in a pink cowboy hat who just sat there looking like he was happy to see each and every one of us.  There was a lady with a sort of Genine Gerafalo sort of dead-pan humor who cracked me up every time, once augmenting her directions on how to safely negotiate a complicated intersection crossing with the safety instructions for exiting an aircraft in an emergency.  And then there was Mullet Pig.

Mullet Pig was a guy in a pink pig mask with a “diamond” tiara and magenta hair weaves.  He was a little chubby, and had a big hairy belly.  I know, because he often performed cartwheels as part of his acrobatic cheering routine.  Also, jump-split kicks.  He had a sort of “Wyld Stallions” vibe going on as well (a-la Bill and Ted).

He referred to himself in the third person.  As in “Mullet Pig loves all the three day walkers”, and “Mullet Pig doesn’t want you to get crushed by a truck, so listen up!”

For a significant portion of the walk, we entertained ourselves by brain-storming a buddy-movie in the vein of the “Bill and Ted’ or “Jay and Silent Bob” movies:  “Mullet Pig saves the 3-day”.  Of course, we also amused ourselves at Susie’s report that she mispronunces “National Philanthropic Trust” (just try it, you’ll get the idea…it’s a spoonerism).

I think I love Mullet Pig.  I think that everyone should have a Mullet Pig of their very own in their lives all of the time.

The last day, 1.5 miles from the end, I was beginning to tear up from the pain in my ankle.  I knew I could finish, but I also knew that we still had a long way to go and it was going to hurt.

And there was Mullet pig, shaking his pink pom-poms, and yelling something we couldn’t quite hear.  When we got closer, I yelled: “we love you Mullet Pig!”  He yelled back “I love you too”.

When we got to him, I gave him a hug (not pleasant for him by now, I assure you.  I was a grimy, sweaty mess), looked into his eyes and said “Thank you.  Every time I see you, it makes me happy”.  Just for a moment, the Mullet Pig persona disappeared, and he said “That’s why I do it.  Thank You.”

I think it's pretty safe to say that he's not in it for the hugs from sweaty, road-grime-covered, sun-burned chicks with no make-up and hair that has not seen a blow-dryer or curling iron for three days.

There’s nothing I can say to express how important the crew is, and the people who show up to cheer at these events.  Amazing.

So if you volunteered to crew, or if you showed up to cheer, or even if you just tooted your horn and waved as you drove past the event…Thank You.

Wednesday, 24 September 2008 06:43:11 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] |  |  | #
Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Ben (the once and hopefully future Eclectic Anonymous) thought that the last video I put up was a little on the serious side, so he sent me a link to this:

You know how Mr. Rogers was rumored to be a Green Beret with multiple kills to his name and it turned out not to be true?

Well, here we have a real-life army guy singing on a children's show.

It's the British Army (the Life Guards), of course...and naturally, since he is singing about triangles, several of the commenters on the video make "gay" comments...and since he served as a peacekeeper, there doesn't appear to be much likelyhood of any "multiple kill" stories...

but none of that is either here nor there.


Here is James Blunt singing "triangle".  Hopefully it will make you smile.


Tuesday, 16 September 2008 15:40:31 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] | #
Saturday, 13 September 2008

Teresa, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:

Taupe Armageddon Palin

What would YOUR Palin name be?

Saturday, 13 September 2008 20:01:49 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #
Monday, 08 September 2008

Hey everyone!  I just want to say, thanks for all of the donations!

You all had me scared for a while there...but now I am suddenly down to only needing $441 to meet my goal.

I'd like to thank you all for donating, and if you know anyone who would like to kick in $5 or whatever, just let them know.  This thing is small enough now that we can easily nickel-and-dime it to death.

Here's the link to my donation page, in case you know someone who might have an extra couple of bucks in their pockets.

I'd especially like to say thank you to those of you who contributed even though you have no idea who I am, and those who contributed anonymously.

I am floored at the number of $100 and $50 and $25 donations.  Magenic (where Rocky works) contributed $256.00 in matching funds for donations from employees.

Readers of Rocky's blog contributed.  Geekgoddes and Alenaae each plugged my fund drive on their blogs and both brought in contributions.

It's really nice to be part of something like this and see the generosity of people.

Thank you for your money, your time, and your support.  I am very grateful for all of you.

Here's the score so far!  The walk is in two weeks, but the donations page will be accepting donations until October which point any remaining funds that I have not earned will be charged to my credit card.  A prospect which, because of your actions in the last couple of weeks, is not nearly as scary as it was a couple of weeks ago.  :-)


80 percent of goal achieved.

Goal:  $2,200.00
Achieved: $1,759.00

Monday, 08 September 2008 08:49:00 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Thursday, 07 August 2008

You really DO think we're stupid, don't you?

Or did your high-priced marketing experts miss the fact that if you are selling over-sugared deep-fried confections as an actual meal...and you are featuring your coffee...

...just a thought here...

...maybe focusing an ad around the phrase "helping you clean up after an all-night blow-out" isn't the most savvy marketing decision ever.

Hint:  I write good copy and I work cheap.  Call me.  And yes, my grammar and spelling ARE better when I am getting paid.

Thursday, 07 August 2008 09:52:02 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] |  |  |  | #
Thursday, 26 June 2008


...b ut you have to admit that it would have only been improved by the addition of Captain Jack...they could have worked him in there a number of different places, like maybe hitting on the penguin or in between the two Replublicans with a thought bubble that declares "Man Candy!"...somethin' like that.  Doesn't matter what, as long as he's shirtless...

(Hat tip:  Saveau)

Thursday, 26 June 2008 15:50:57 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [7] | #
Thursday, 08 May 2008

Yesterday I had to run up to the Home Despot to meet my Sifu and hand off some sashes that he needed to give to some students of mine who are transferring over to his class due to a scheduling conflict.

The Home Despot is near his work, and I had to pick up some mulch.

After handing off the sashes, I wandered into the Home Despot and found the piles of cedar mulch.  Naturally, the brand I wanted was behind a pile of other stuff, so it was awkward, but I was managing just fine.  I was loading the two cu.ft. bags onto a flat-bed push-cart when I heard:

 “Hey!  Can I give you a hand with that?”

I looked up, and there was a guy with a silver ear-hoop, a buzz cut, and one of the most spectacular tattoos I’ve seen in a while.  The tat was a reproduced photograph of a little Chinese kid surrounded by wood grain, and illuminated by gothic script, which I couldn’t read, ‘cause the guy’s arm kept moving while he ignored my assertion that I was doing fine on my own, and pushed past me to begin loading the bags.

“Nice tat”, I said, “Is that of anyone in particular?”

“Yes.  It’s a kid I met while I was on a mission trip to China helping out a missionary running an orphanage over there.”

“Oh.  He must be pretty special.”

“Yeah, he was.  You know, all those kids were damaged some way.  I wasn’t comfortable around them.  I’m not proud to say it, but I wondered, ‘where are all the normal kids, why can’t I work with them?  This kid just came up to me the first day and plopped himself down on my lap, and I was like ‘OK, little dude, you’re cool.  He was my little buddy the whole time I was there.  I just loved him so much.”

“That’s really great,” I said…figuring the story was over.

He continued, “Before we left, the missionary went through and told me about the kids, told me their stories, and why they were at the orphanage.  Then he got to my kid, and told me that he’d been born with both male and female parts.  Wow, that was tough, you know, dealing with that.  But God had already worked in my heart by that point, and it didn’t matter.”

“That’s a cool story, thanks for telling me.”

“Yeah, that’s why the Bible verse here.”  He pointed to the script, which I still couldn’t read.

I thought it was a great story.  You know, a lot of people don’t believe that they need God to work in their heart to avoid judgment and express compassion for others.  But a lot of people do.  And my feeling is, if you feel that's what you need to make yourself better personally, you go with your bad self.  Do what you have to do, just get there.  I don't care if you think you need to wear a watermelon on your head to help you be a better human being.  If it works for you, great.  I will bring you fresh watermelons every day to help you.  Just don't try to force one onto my head, and don't turn the term "watermelonless" into a slur.  We'll be cool.

And this man was great, he wasn’t telling me that without religion, I was going to hell.  He wasn’t telling me that without religion I’m incapable of love and compassion (or that while I might be able to have love and compassion, it is meaningless without a “foundation”.)

He was telling me about his personal and meaningful story about how he personally won a victory over judgment, narrow-mindedness, and bigotry…and how the reward was a richer, more loving life.

And it made my day, and quite possibly my life better.

(disclaimer:  please realize that this conversation is recounted from memory, so the words in quotes are not direct quotes, but my best recollection of the conversation)

Thursday, 08 May 2008 06:29:41 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [6] |  | #
Friday, 04 April 2008

Feeling a little down after so much time with no new "The Show"s with Ze Frank?

My friend Eric (who mostly limits his comments to e-mail) sent me a link to a new important news source:




Now, there is no excuse for being ignorant about current events.  You've got the Daily Show, and "Unlce Jay" can you lose?

Friday, 04 April 2008 12:19:58 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] |  | #
Tuesday, 01 April 2008

There ought to be a law against doing that with an image of Eugene Scott, though. And to cleanse the pallet:


OK, I'm sorry too:

Tuesday, 01 April 2008 18:58:10 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  | #
Saturday, 09 February 2008

Well, sometimes...


(Hat Tip : Dracut)


1) If you could get a crowd that size together in one place in Bemidji, that's what they would look like.

2) If you could get Northwoods Norwegians to dance...that's what it would look like.

3) Rural Ojibwe, rural Norwegians and rural Swedes and rural Germans are not really that big with the running and screaming.  They are most likely to give a put-upon-sounding "yup" or "oofda" that sounds sort of like a sigh...and then blow your head off.

4)If there were a place where werewolves ran around in bright sunlight, it would be Bemidji.


Saturday, 09 February 2008 09:49:40 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [5] |  | #
Tuesday, 05 February 2008

Martians are just so NICE!  They obviously want us to "Have a nice Day"

Darned nice of them to think of us considering they have that whole "nonexsistance thing" going on.  What a bummer, and they do something thoughtful like this...

...It just sort of makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  I mean, when you look at that how can you even THINK that it happened by RANDOM CHANCE?!?  Obviously, it was DESIGNED...designed by a giant five-year old with a Martian Magna-Doodle.

(Hat Tip: Jason Bock)

Tuesday, 05 February 2008 22:31:16 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  |  | #
Wednesday, 05 December 2007


A friend recently sent me this picture in an e-mail describing it as "The Eye of God."  The e-mail assured me that if I gazed upon the Eye of God, it would change my life (presumably for the better, in a way that I could understand and appreciate).

Laughingly, I responded:  "In ancient times, if you told someone that they could look upon the Eye of God, they would refuse to do it.  They would be certain that someone would be instantly struck dead for such an offense.  Today, we take pictures of the Eye of God, transmit it to our friends through the internet for entertainment purposes, and use it as a charm for granting free wishes...and they say ATHEISTS are arrogant."  :-)


Wednesday, 05 December 2007 08:54:57 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] |  |  | #
Friday, 09 November 2007

You guys totally have to see this.  I stole it from Jason Bock's blog, because I don't care HOW BAD your day is, this will make you feel better.



I remember when the boys would get in a giggle fit, and the slightest thing would set them off like this. I always enjoyed it...but I also often worried that they would end up vomiting.

Friday, 09 November 2007 19:25:47 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] | #
Thursday, 18 October 2007

Stephan Colbert for president!

(wouldn't it be cool if Christopher Walken were his running-mate?)

Thursday, 18 October 2007 12:32:57 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] | #
Thursday, 27 September 2007

So I'm on my way to my Wednesday night class,and I'm stopped behind a Ford Taurus at the stop-light, when I notice the vanity plate:


That's all it says.

So I look at the "Taurus" logo on the back of the car, followed by the "BM" vanity plate...and I think "Bullshit?"

Am I the only one?

Thursday, 27 September 2007 08:34:25 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] |  |  | #
Saturday, 15 September 2007




Adventure Boy must have enjoyed the Rush concert very much.  Here is his sketch of Geddy Lee that he did today...from memory.

In a conversation I overheard him having with Grasshopper, he said "I didn't watch the monitors, because you're at a live concert...why would you watch a screen?"

Pretty awesome, huh?

[update:  My Sunday Devotionals sometimes involve Rush - check out these lyrics by Neal Peart]

"The Way The Wind Blows"

Now it's come to this
It's like we're back in the Dark Ages
From the Middle East to the Middle West
It's a world of superstition

Now it's come to this
Wide-eyed armies of the faithful
From the Middle East to the Middle West
Pray, and pass the ammunition

So many people think that way
You gotta watch what you say
To them and them, and others too
Who don't seem to see things the way you do

We can only grow the way the wind blows
on a bare and weathered shore
We can only bow to the here and now
In our elemental war

We can only go the way the wind blows
We can only bow to the here and now
Or be broken down blow by blow

Now it's come to this
Hollow speeches of mass deception
From the Middle East to the Middle West
Like crusaders in a holy alliance

Now it's come to this
Like we're back in the dark ages
From the Middle East to the Middle West
It's a plague that resists our science

It seems to leave them partly blind
And they leave no child behind
While evil spirits haunt their sleep
While shepherds bless and count their sheep

Like the solitary pine
On a bare wind blasted shore
We can only grow the way the wind blows

Saturday, 15 September 2007 19:25:38 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] |  |  | #
Wednesday, 12 September 2007

Looking for new music nobody else you know has heard?  Looking for music you can't get in a store?  Looking for music unsullied by corporate focus-grouping?

Looking for music from a couple of mid-western family men?

Looking for music that is free AND good?

Look no further.  The Sidetracked project is available.


Also, as far as I know, this is whats available from Jagged Spiral, who are also new, unavailable in stores, unsullied by focus groups, free, good and mid-western, and one of them has a family as far as I know...

...but they are a little evil.  PLEASE read the disclaimer before you play the music out loud.  The world doesn't need anymore dead chinchillas than strictly necessary.

Days from Evil

Wednesday, 12 September 2007 07:56:19 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  | #
Tuesday, 04 September 2007

Geekgoddess has a bit up about a former employer of hers on the lam.

If you've ever harbored a secret wish to see a former employer fry for their multitudnous sins...



Tuesday, 04 September 2007 21:27:35 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [4] |  | #
Tuesday, 28 August 2007

You poor thing.  I'm not going to put the You Tube Video up here, because people can see it all over the internet.

Sorry you had to find out the hard way that no amount of preperation can 100% protect you from panic brain.

I'd feel really badly for you, except this is one blip on the radar and if you go on to do other things, people will forget all about it.

Fill the rest of your life with acomplishments and important work.

I'd feel worse for you, but you're young and beautiful and probably have an adoring family and the scholarship for winning your State pagent probably has you pretty well set up, and being jealous gets in the way of a lot of my sympathy.

Anyway, chin up and please don't let this moment define the rest of your life, because that would be really stupid.

Tuesday, 28 August 2007 21:22:38 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Thursday, 28 June 2007

By now you've most likely all heard about Ann Coulter's continued douchbaggery towards the Edwards family, and complete lack of ability to understand a simple request to focus her message on the issues without resorting to douchbaggery.

You also probably realize that Ann's response makes it clear that her political message IS douchbaggery itself, and has nothing to do with the issues.  She as much as says that she can't write books without acting like a douchebag, so Elizabeth Edward's request that she do so is essentially the same as asking her not to write books at all.

So, no need to harp on that.

Instead, watch this cool conflagration. 



(Hat Tip:  Jason Bock)

Thursday, 28 June 2007 11:06:10 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #
Sunday, 24 June 2007

I was taking an inventory of my baking supplies recently, and it struck me:


Doesn't "Imperial Brown Sugar" sound like the greatest drag queen name ever?

Sunday, 24 June 2007 08:40:24 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  | #
Wednesday, 20 June 2007

Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon

 has a fun entry about a conservative having a melt-down because single moms can get a Hallmark card on father’s day.

Pandagon got the link  from an entry on Alicublog.  Take a look at that one as well.

That conservative is Heather McDonald.  Here is the original article.


Of course it’s another “conservative” lament about how our society is disintegrating, how it’s deteriorating, how it is going to hell in a hand basket.

Call me crazy, but doesn’t it seem that in the last throws of a declining civilization, where all human values have been lost, where we wander through a desolate social landscape bereft of morals and decency…

…doesn’t it seem that Hallmark would be, um, irrelevant?

Somehow, I find it difficult to believe that a child showing gratitude to her mother for doing the job of two parents year around, year in and year out is one of the preliminaries to the apocalypse.

 It’s difficult to mourn too much for a society that raises children who, instead of being bitter and resentful at not having a father in their lives, can seek out a card to show gratitude for the mother that they have.

Color me confused.

Wednesday, 20 June 2007 21:04:01 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] |  |  | #
Friday, 15 June 2007

My friend Barb just reminded me of a story from when Adventure Boy was little.

We'd been out to the zoo, and AB had been a total little twerp.  He'd whined and complained, threw temper tantrums, been mouthy and generally a pain in the pattotie.

We were tired, hungry, and crabby.  I was at the end of my rope.

I reportedly declared:  "I need ice cream.  We're getting ice cream."

So I bought us ice cream, and Adventure boy looked at his before eating it and said: "How come you bought me ice cream?  I've been so bad today.  I don't deserve it."

And I said: "Sometimes you get ice cream, and sometimes you don't.  Whether you deserve it or not, that's just how it is."

Adventure Boy said "Oh." and ate his ice cream.

Apparently, Barb saw in this an important life lesson of great profundity and amusement.

I don't know why.

But just in case, I thought I'd let you all know too so you can profit from it if you have a brain like Barbs.

Friday, 15 June 2007 22:32:18 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  | #
Sunday, 03 June 2007

A glimps into a dark, desperate, and demonic world.

Follow the link...if you DARE!

(Hat Tip:  Pharyngula)

Sunday, 03 June 2007 15:28:17 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] | #
Monday, 28 May 2007

Neil at 4Simpsons took his daughter to a Penguin Encounter for her birthday.  He posted pictures.  It looks like such an awesome experience for his daughter.

I think I would have done just about anything for an experiance like that when I was that age.  Kudos to Neil.

And really, despite all the differences, how can you really be THAT different from a fellow penguin fan?

Bill and Opus in 08!  Bringing us all together.  LOL!

Monday, 28 May 2007 16:57:41 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #
Friday, 25 May 2007

There is a hilarious video over at Pharyngula.  I've GOT to figure out how to imbed video into my blog.


[update: Thanks to Mark at, I am seriously DANGEROUS now!  Moooo-hahhaha.  I can embed video]

Friday, 25 May 2007 10:20:02 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #
Friday, 11 May 2007

It might mean that someone is a creative genius.

It might mean that someone has too much time on their hands.

It might mean that someone is a little too devoted to their church.

It might mean that we can be grateful that someone doesn't use their powers for evil, even if they DO apply them to something we might think of as frivolous.

It might mean that Lego Blocks are brain crack...


Sometimes you just have to say something is awesome, no matter what it "means".

Friday, 11 May 2007 09:38:51 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #

Denialism debunks the perception that 50% of all marriages end in divorce.

In addition to finding that the percived epidemic is more a low-grade endemic condition given to temporary environmental flare-ups, the brothers Hoofnagle point out that those most immune to the disease are Catholics, Muslims and Atheists.  Most succeptible?  Evangelicals and Baptists.

Friday, 11 May 2007 07:31:10 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Thursday, 10 May 2007

I came across this little gem at Pharyngula:  Fox news is trumpeting the happy news that a study shows that religious kids are better behaved than non-religious kids.

I looked across the table at Grasshopper, who was stuffing his face with cereal for his after-school snack before diving into his homework.

Me:                    “I should have made you go to church when you were little.”

Grasshopper:   “What?!?”

Me:                     “This study says that you would be better behaved if I raised you with religion.”

 I read the article to him.  He listens intently, a puckish grin growing on his face as I read.

Grasshopper:     “Well…”  he shrugs in an exaggeratedly careless way, “Too late now.”

Me:                       “Yeah.  Guess I’m stuck with you the way you are.”

Grasshopper:       “Yep.  Now, what can I start on fire?”


Theist kids may tend to be better behaved, but non-theist kids tend to be more entertaining.

Thursday, 10 May 2007 14:46:53 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [4] | #
Tuesday, 08 May 2007

Dream Girl 

Once More, product and property of xkcd reproduced here under Creative Commons.  Go to xkcd for more fun!

Tuesday, 08 May 2007 07:55:40 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [3] | #
Monday, 07 May 2007

The Cure 


This is the product and property of the most excellent:  XKCD  I have reproduced it because it is designated Creative Commons.  And because it is funny.  so there.

Monday, 07 May 2007 20:59:05 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #
Thursday, 19 April 2007


  1) A person who some Christians believe doesn't value his own life because he is not willing to die for God.

  2) A person who some Christians believe doesn't value the lives of others because he does not celebrate the idea that someone died for him.

Thursday, 19 April 2007 10:47:59 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] |  | #
Wednesday, 18 April 2007

Today Jay and I walked Grasshopper to school.  We went out to the bus stop, and just kept on walking because it was a nice day, and we were talking, and it seemed a shame to just stand around.

When we got to the school, I left Grasshopper at the front door, and proceeded back the way we had come, along the edge of the parking lot where the busses come to park before they drop the kids off.

I heard someone yelling, and I looked around, and realized that one of the 4th grade crossing guards was calling to me :

“Please stay out of the danger zone!”

What?  I didn’t know what he was talking about.  Then, I realized that he must be talking about the broad yellow stripe painted down the side of the sidewalk.  It must have been painted in order to keep people from wandering too close to the bus traffic.

“Oh, sorry!”  I stepped out of the “danger zone” and proceeded to walk toward the boy.  He looked familiar.

“Thank you.”  He said, as I got closer.

“Barry?”  I said (Barry isn’t his real name).

“Yes", he replied.

Barry had been in Grasshopper’s first grade class.  I had been one of the parents that came in a couple times per week to help out with the reading groups.  I often ended up with Barry in my group.  He constantly challenged me, was constantly disruptive, asked deliberately inconvenient questions, picked his nose dramatically to make the other kids laugh, pretended that he didn’t know how to read even the simplest words, managed to “lose” every item he needed for the activity at least once, was defiantly, obnoxiously, relentlessly, variously, and creatively difficult.

I really liked him, but I was always exhausted trying to get through the material in the allotted time.  He was obviously bright, but such a source of constant disorder that I was shocked to see this miniature engine of chaos before me, his official crossing-guard vest gleaming in the morning sunlight, thanking me for obeying his request that I comply with school rules.

“How are you doing?”  I asked him.

“Good.  You?”

“I’m good.”

“What’s your dog’s name?”  He asked.


“He’s not very old, is he?”

“Seven months.”

“He’s very well trained. “ Barry complimented.

“Thanks.  I’d better let you get back to work.”

“Yeah.  It was nice talking to you.”

“You too.”

Talk about weird.  In three short years my primary discipline nemesis had transformed into a polite, mature, social mini-adult responsible for helping maintain order and safety in his school.

I STILL feel a little dizzy

Wednesday, 18 April 2007 15:54:32 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] |  | #
Tuesday, 30 January 2007

For those who believe that we can't all live together in peace:

A little treat to make you feel better.  A Nazi group announced their intention to hold a book burning in Minneapolis.  A counter demonstration was held.  Look who showed up:


Swanson was joined at the gathering by Jewish, Christian and Muslim leaders in the library of the Barry Family Campus at the Sabes Jewish Community Center in St. Louis Park.


When the good guys come together, the bad guys lose.  When we fight against and demonize each other, they win.  Christians should oppose the Christians who preach hate and division, rather than side with them.  Ditto Jews, ditto Muslims, ditto Atheists and Pagans and on and on.


Some people get that.  I'm convinced that ENOUGH people get that, but the more who get it, the better - and the better our time on this planet will be.

Tuesday, 30 January 2007 11:26:55 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Tuesday, 05 December 2006

I was sitting in the hallway outside Grasshopper's orchestra practice.  Two teenaged girls were giggling and gossiping, and planning for next weekend, even though it was Monday night.

I wasn't trying to evesdrop.  I was trying to push through a particularly dense section of part two of Thomas Paine's Rights of Man (I am trying to get to "The Age of Reason"  where I hope to find out if I really am a Deist for really real...but I like to do things in the right order.)

Anyway, their conversation that had been a back-ground cacaphony of white noise suddenly became a chrystal-clear transmission cutting through my concentration:

Girl one: "I don't know what came over him this morning, he was like all over me."

Girl two: "yeah."

Girl one: "Like, 'How are you?' and 'what are you doing later?' and 'I like your shoes.'"

Girl two: "Omigod, so weird."

Girl one: "Yeah.  And I'm like, dude, back off, I mean, two gays do NOT make a straight."


I almost ruptured myself trying not to burst out laughing.

Tuesday, 05 December 2006 09:09:29 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] |  |  | #
Monday, 25 September 2006

The ancient Babylonian batteries have confused, and mystified archeologists for decades...those who don't outright reject their authenticity, that is.

For one thing, they don't appear to have served any useful purpose, as there have been no discoveries of ancient Babylonian motors, or ancient Babylonian wiring, or tablets full of ancient Babylonian building codes (other than the ones declairing that any house broken into have the body of the burgler sealed into the breach).

But I know what they were used for.

Don't tell anyone, but they were used to fuel the Stargate.

Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen.  Yes, you may tell Dr. Jackson that I will gladly accept a position on his research team.  Late nights are not a problem.

Monday, 25 September 2006 08:53:45 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] |  |  | #
Saturday, 23 September 2006

Paula over at Ordinary Time sent me a link to this blog.

I like it a lot.  I think I'll be adding it to my blog roll soon.  I think you will all like it too.

She has a lot of smart and witty things to say, and many of them are undeniably true.  For instance, I can say with certainty, that this really is what friends are for. (fun little gem from the archives).

Saturday, 23 September 2006 06:55:59 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [5] | #
Friday, 08 September 2006

I got this via Pharyngula.  It is not for work, or in the presence of children.

OK, you might be OK if you have head-phones, but then people will wonder what all of the evil, subversive giggling is all about and you'll either have to say "Oh, nohing", which many people find unsettling in a subversively giggling co-worker, or you'll have to share, and that would probably not be good either.

Just save it for home alone time.

Friday, 08 September 2006 07:35:05 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] |  |  | #
Wednesday, 06 September 2006

Sorry for the blog entry consisting only of a link to another blog entry, but this little throw-away zinger at Pharyngula hit me in the funny-bone.

Wednesday, 06 September 2006 08:02:23 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [0] | #
Wednesday, 30 August 2006

Hey you guys!  It's an honest to FSM miracle!  The image His Sublime Noodeliness has appeared in the sky!  It is clearly a sign of his blessings on our country!  Or his judgement!  or maybe he just showed up to watch Fight Science on the National Geographic channel (which was freaking entertaining, so who can blame him?  I WANT a crash-test dummy.  Rocky, buy me a crash test dummy, PLEASE?!?) ...whatever.  It's a miracle!

Go see it for yourself!

I'm considering a pilgrimage.

Wednesday, 30 August 2006 06:33:26 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [5] |  |  |  | #
Wednesday, 26 July 2006
Live in the real.
Wednesday, 26 July 2006 06:48:18 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] |  |  | #
Wednesday, 26 April 2006
No really, it's about miracles. and it's not mean, sarcastic, or bombastic. In fact, if you didn't know better, you might think that Sue wrote it..but she didn't. It's all me, baby.
Wednesday, 26 April 2006 21:48:19 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] |  |  |  | #
Friday, 02 December 2005
What're ya gonna do with them?
Friday, 02 December 2005 09:45:30 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #
Friday, 01 April 2005
No, it's not a dirty minded person you.
Friday, 01 April 2005 09:39:31 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [1] | #
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