We wrapped the movie last night, and I’m still not dead.
To borrow hyperbole from Harriet Meirs…
I am the lamest vampire, ever!
Lessee…first, I’m standing outside the lair of my vampy master, the evil and beautiful Lucritia, when the great, scary vampire hunter, Cassie Banning shows up and shoots my friend in the head.
I attack her and she dispatches me in three moves, knocking me out but not killing me.
Later, I drag my sorry ass into the club and attempt to prevent the great, scary vampire lord, Saveau from entering the lair of my master.
Saveau stares me down, and I back off in panic…completely overcome by his ability to project fear.
I back off and await my opportunity, attacking Saveau from behind with two other vamps (cowards run in packs). In the course of this cowardly, but more successful attempt to curry favor and be a hero…I get accidentally shot in the shoulder by two women squabbling over a gun. (Aforementioned scary lady Cassie Banning, and my master’s pet dhampier…Syierra.)
Finally, I stagger off, shot, beaten, and completely defeated while my master gets shot, and my vamp cohorts get slaughtered in the meat-grinder-wheel-of-death that Cassie and Syierra have become. I try to sneak out, but come face-to-face with Saveau…who gives me a choice; “It’s me, or them.” A glance back at the WoD re-affirms to me that I am NOT interested in the second option. I painfully gather my forces to strike, and Saveau pops me with a punch that lays me out…
…aside from Saveau, I’m the only vampire that survives the movie.
Since I finally knew how many extras we were going to have, and what their general condition was...I was able to begin choreographing the Wheel of Death fight scene just before the shoot. I did it in a half hour during Adventure Boy's tuba lesson. Boy, did I get a lot of weird looks from the other soccar moms. First of all, I'm made up for movie lighting (can you say “tramp?“ I knew you could) Second, I'm wearing my vampy costume. More on that below. Third, I'm doing martial arts moves and scribbling in a notebook. Once again, one more step in my mission to confuse and frighten the complacent.
It was a lot of fun. I was stressed, tired, uncertain, and didn’t know where I was or what I was doing half the time, but it was fun. I can’t imagine what the principles on this project have been going through. Tony assures me that I don’t want to. I believe him.
I wore a costume that included a top that can only be described as “The blouse of infinite boobage”, and a face-load of make-up.
A very cute army Airborn Ranger singled me out for some very intense flirting, but he did it in a very charming, sweet and not creepy way. So it was sort of fun. He alternated between calling me “muscles” and “cutie”.
At one point, I realized that the five or six workers from the club who had surrounded me and were asking multitudes of questions about movies and martial arts and fight choreography had absolutely no interest at all in the subjects.
Very new experience. It was kind of fun, but I’m glad to get the make-up off and get back to my dumpy Kung Fu pants and over-sized tee-shirts. It’s more “me”. KWIM? It’s fun to be someone else for a couple of days, but we live where we live because that’s where we’re comfortable.