Folding, spindeling, and mutilating lauguage for fun since Aug, 2004
Sunday, 24 February 2008

Theobromophile pointed me to this great spoof called "Abstinance Only Driver's Ed"


Basically, the point seems to be that if kids have access to certain...uh...equiptment...and are simply told not to use under penalty of many grave (but fairly vague and distant) threats, but the inherant rewards of using it are obvious, maybe it's a bad idea to deny them critical information about how that equiptment works, and how to use it safely.


Theobromophile counters with a spoof of her own, and you can see how the opposite side would find it fun, because they accept the characterization of comprehensive sex ed that the spoof relies on, and if thats actually how it would be HILARIOUS.  Well, the spoof would be hilarious.


Personally, the analogies seem a little off to me.


But that could be because I drove cars without training, and without my parent's knowledge or consent long before I got to driver's ed...and comprehensive sex ed clued me in to some things just in time to teach me to make my own decisions based on my own self-interest, and gave me the perspective to be able to say "no" to the advances of adult authority figures.


But I have to say that even though comprehensive sex education helped me a lot, it WAS far from comprehensive.  I mean, sure, they told me "Abstinance is the only way to be completely sure you don't get infected with STDs or pregnant"  However, they never told me "people will know you are not having sex, and you will pay a terrible price."  But my guess is, they didn't want to be discouraging.


I wonder if there is a funny car analogy for everyone knowing you aren't having sex, assuming you are gay, and having straight boys proclaim their determination to "show you the light" some day when you are not expecting them.


But at least abstinance-only education has given us a generation of girls who are afraid to sit on toilet seats, and instead have taken to hovering over them.  THAT'S something we can all be thankful for...row after row of sprinkled toilet seats.  It re-inforces those old-time family values my mom instilled in me:  particularly, "Go to the bathroom before you leave the house!"


And if they think they can get HIV from sweat, I imagine that will make it easier to get on the machines at the gym.


And just a reminder:  If you live in Minnesota, and your kids get quality comprehensive sex ed, it is because your school district told the State of Minnesota to keep their dirty money, and spent their own funds for the curriculum.  So don't forget to thank your local school board and be very sure to vote to re-elect them!

Sunday, 24 February 2008 16:06:35 (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) | Comments [2] | #
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